Alex swivelled to look at her sister in shock. ‘Xander Wild? As in Max’s brother? Quinn’s cousin?’
Immy turned her head around so she could continue working on the up-do. ‘Yes, the very same.’
‘But… you hate him.’
‘Hate is probably too strong a word. I’m… frustrated by him.’
‘So how did it happen?’
‘He was there when Ethan stood me up and, instead of being a jerk about it, he was really nice and one thing led to another and he came back here. He was insatiable. We must have had sex six or seven times throughout the night. It was like he couldn’t get enough of me. I have never felt so adored, so revered in my life before. It was utterly wonderful. And then I woke up the next morning and he was gone. I texted him to say thanks for the best night of my life and he never replied.’
‘What a dick.’
‘Ah, that’s Xander all over. He only ever does one-night stands. He hasn’t had a relationship with any woman since his wife died. And he has his daughter Etta to think about. I knew very well what I was getting myself into. But the point is, maybe it was so good because we both knew there were no strings attached, no commitments, no broken promises, just one night of fun and we both walk away unscathed. After what Liam did to you, I can understand you being scared of commitment or a long-term relationship again, but it doesn’t have to be that. I think you’d enjoy the dates a lot more if there are no expectations of something more or something meaningful. Then there can be no disappointments.’
Maybe Immy had a point. It didn’t need to be something serious. Alex still couldn’t imagine sleeping with a stranger but she would love a kiss, a wonderful, passionate, stomach-clenching kiss, with someone who wasn’t Liam.
Her thoughts turned to Quinn again and what it would be like to kiss him. She blushed as she tried to push those inappropriate thoughts away.
‘OK, all done,’ Immy said.
Alex stood up and looked in the mirror, admiring the plaited halo of hair around her head. It looked lovely.
Alex gave her sister a kiss on the cheek and then rested her head on her shoulder. ‘You’re a star, thank you.’
‘You’re very welcome. But you don’t need pretty hair to impress the right man. Any man worth his salt will instantly be bowled over by how wonderful you are, regardless of what you’re wearing or what your hair is doing.’
Alex smiled and moved back over to Zara’s packed lunch, shoving in a couple of clementines and closing the lid. She went to the kitchen door and shouted up the stairs. ‘Zara Seren Campbell, you better get your butt downstairs right now or I’ll gouge your eyes out and feed them to the rats.’
Zara loved the threats, every morning there was a new one and the gorier they were the better. Alex heard her daughter laugh upstairs. Alex swore Zara had been waiting until the threat was dealt before coming downstairs.
A few seconds later Zara came running downstairs in her school uniform, which was already showing signs of being outgrown, her nose buried in a book as soon as her feet touched the bottom stair.
This book was about an evil uncle coming up with a several different ways to kill off his nieces and nephew in order to get the inheritance. Alex sometimes worried about some of the darker themes in the books Zara read but apparently lots of kids at school were reading the same ones so she tried to be cool about it. Alex tried to remember what kind of book she was reading at Zara’s age. She’d liked the Famous Five, Secret Seven and, while Enid Blyton never bumped anyone off, there were some hairy scrapes the kids got themselves into so she supposed this wasn’t really that different. At seven years old – or nearly eight, as Zara liked to tell anyone who asked – she had a reading age of someone a few years older. She was also wise beyond her years.
Sometimes Alex could have very mature conversations with her about very adult topics, like the environment or things that were happening in the news, and she was so knowledgeable about wildlife that she’d often taught Alex things she hadn’t known. It was so easy to forget Zara was only seven but then she’d get excited about making cakes with sprinkles or Santa coming and Alex remembered that, behind all that maturity, she was still a little girl.
Zara sat down on the bottom step to pull her boots on, while still reading the book on her lap.
With her dark hair and sky-blue eyes, Zara waslooking more and more like her dad every day. Alex wondered whether Zara saw that when she looked in the mirror and whether it made her sad. She hadn’t even turned four when Liam had died and Alex didn’t think Zara had really understood to start with – she hadn’t even cried. When she’d been told, she’d just nodded and went back outside to play in the garden. It had only been after a week or so that Zara started asking when Daddy was coming home and Alex had to explain that he never was. And that was when the tears started. Zara had adored her dad. But the grieving process didn’t last long. Apparently in younger children, they just dealt with it and moved on.
Alex often wondered if she should do more to preserve Liam’s memory, other than the photos that were displayed around the house. Maybe she should talk about him more, play the videos of them together more often. But the eighteen months prior to his death had been difficult to say the least and when she remembered him she remembered that, rather than the happier times. She never wanted to say anything negative about Liam to Zara so she avoided talking about him at all and she felt guilty about that. Although her guilt stretched far beyond that. The night he died, they’d had a massive row and he’d stormed out, drunk, and half hour later he’d crashed his car into a tree. She’d never told anyone apart from Immy about that because she knew they would point the finger of blame at her. And she knew that was part of the reason she never wanted to talk about him. What would she say if Zara asked how herdad had died? But thankfully, Zara didn’t talk about him either so it hadn’t come up.
Alex felt bad for Liam that his daughter never missed him. But then maybe Zara didn’t need her dad because Quinn, Liam’s older brother, was round the house every day. He was such a massive part of their lives.
Right on cue, there was a knock on the back door and, when she turned round, Quinn was letting himself in. Her heart leapt at the sight of him as it always did. He had Liam’s looks in a way, dark hair, blue eyes. Although Quinn’s eyes were more the colour of the sea than the sky, with hints of green and gold. Sharing the same facial features, they were undoubtedly brothers but Quinn definitely carried that hotter older brother look. The look he gave her made her stomach clench with desire. It was as if he wanted to do rude and wonderful things to her. Well, that was what she liked to tell herself he was thinking, which was a harmless little fantasy. He’d always looked at her with that intensity that made her feel weak, when clearly it meant nothing. He’d never showed any sign of having feelings for her while she was completely in love with him. In fact, she’d tried to kiss him once a few months after Liam died and he very kindly but firmly turned her down. Sadly, it didn’t change how she felt. She knew it was completely inappropriate as he was Liam’s brother but she couldn’t help these feelings.
‘Hey,’ Quinn said, staring at her as if she was the only person in the world. If only that was true. ‘You look… beautiful.’
‘Oh. Thank you.’
‘Hi,’ Immy said, dragging Quinn’s attention away from Alex. He gave Immy a wave. Immy’s dog, Jacob, who was also in love with Quinn, scrabbled round him with excitement as if he hadn’t seen him in months. Quinn bent down and scratched between his ears.
Alex pushed away romantic thoughts because she’d be mortified if he ever found out about her feelings for him. ‘Morning, did you want a tea or coffee or juice?’
Alex knew he wouldn’t say yes to a hot drink as he wouldn’t have time to drink it if he was going to walk Zara to school. Although that technically wasn’t what happened when he and Zara left the house together, he just ‘happened’ to be going the same way. Zara was desperate to walk to school on her own, just like her friends did, and so Alex had said yes and Quinn had conveniently turned up every morning on his way past their house heading towards the main town, explaining that the school was on his route. Zara hadn’t cottoned on yet to what they were doing, she was just happy to spend some time with her favourite uncle.
‘Yeah, apple juice if you’ve got it. I haven’t got long. I have to go into town to collect some more metal.’
