‘I bet you’re thinking you’ve dodged a bullet by avoiding my absolute mess of a life.’
‘Well at least I know you didn’t take one look at me and then come up with this as an excuse,’ Pip said.
‘It really isn’t you, you’ve been so nice. I was looking forward to meeting you until last night happened. I’m really very sorry.’
‘There really is no need. To be honest, I’m still crazy in love with my ex so it wasn’t really fair for me to go on a date with you either. I thought if I dated other people I might eventually get over her, but that wasn’t realistic.’
‘That’s what I thought: if I dated other people, I might fall out of love with him but that was never going to happen.’
‘Alex, you want my advice?’ Pip asked.
‘Sure.’
‘A love like that, the kind that takes hold of you and never lets go, you need to grab onto it with both hands. The past is in the past and there is nothing you can do tochange it, but your future, that’s wide open, that can be whatever you want it to be. You don’t want to get to ten years from now and look back at this moment and regret it or wish it had been different.’
‘You’re so right, but it’s easier said than done. I just need to find a way to be brave.’
He sighed. ‘If you figure it out, you can tell me what the secret is.’
Alex smiled. ‘Thank you for being so understanding and lovely. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.’
‘No worries at all. Merry Christmas.’
‘And to you.’
They said their goodbyes and hung up.
Alex knew that she had to go and see Quinn. Even if nothing could happen between them, he needed to know there would never be anyone else for her. She couldn’t bear the thought of him sitting at home now hating the idea of her being on a date with someone else.
She quickly walked down the hill towards Christmas Gardens, going as fast as she could through the snowy conditions. She rounded a corner and saw his cottage sitting among the snow looking every inch something from a Christmas card as light spilled from the windows and wisps of smoke curled from the chimney.
She hurried across the grass and banged on the door. After a few moments, Quinn answered the door.
He blinked in surprise to see her.
‘Alex, what are you doing here?’
Before she could say a word, he took her hand andpulled her inside, closing the door. She could see the log fire burning merrily in the fireplace and shivered slightly as her body adjusted to the warmth.
‘What are you doing here?’ Quinn said, rubbing her shoulders. ‘It’s freezing outside. Aren’t you supposed to be going on a date with Pip soon?’
‘I cancelled.’
‘But he was the nice one.’
‘He was,’ Alex agreed. ‘He was lovely and kind and funny. But he wasn’t you. And I know I’m not ready for something big and serious with you but there will never be anyone else but you. I’d rather sit in my house alone every night, than be with anyone else but you. Although I’d much rather be sittingwithyou, watchingMidsomer Murderstogether, maybe you’d even let me hold your hand.’
His face softened and he cupped her face, stroking her cold cheeks with his thumbs. ‘I would like that very much.’
Then he dipped his head and kissed her. She gasped against his lips as she hadn’t been prepared for that and then she kissed him back.
Every worry and doubt went out the window as he kissed her, there were no other thoughts about the future or getting hurt, there was no worry about how she would tell him what happened the night Liam died, there was just the two of them, kissing each other as if they were the air they needed to breathe, everything else just faded away. How could a kiss make her feel so much? It wasn’t that she hadn’t beenkissed for years, it was more than that, it was him. They just fitted together so perfectly, she knew this man so well, he was her best friend and she loved him so much.
Quinn slipped her coat from her shoulders and it fell to the floor. Without taking his mouth from hers, he bent down and scooped her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing when she knew that wasn’t the case. He carried her into the lounge and laid her down in front of the fire.
He pulled back slightly to look at her. ‘Can I make love to you?’
‘Yes, definitely yes,’ Alex said, without any hesitation. She didn’t know what this meant, whether it was a one-off or if there would be more. She didn’t care. She needed him so much right now.
