Why do my insides twist into painful knots when saying this?
Even though I’m not looking at him to see his reaction, his hurt is palpable. It coats my lungs like the soot left in the wake of a chemical fire. “I will never stop looking after you. Not until you’re safe. And beyond that, because I meant what I said. There’s onlyyou,” he rasps.
I huff and snap my mouth shut because what else can I do? This man has a response to everything I say. I wish someonewould have warned me that being stuck amid a bloody war between your heart and mind crushes you. He will eventually grow tired of watching me if I ignore him, right? I can’t take this push and pull that saws through my bones like a knife with a dull blade anymore.
It doesn’t take long for the usual panic that accompanies me in a moving vehicle to force my fingers to clench and unclench involuntarily while I struggle for air. Even though I desperately need to distract myself somehow, I pretend Kaiden doesn’t exist. It’s okay…I’ll r-ride it o-out. Shit. I think Kaiden said something, but all I hear is thewhoosh, whoosh, whooshof the blood rushing into my ears.
“W-what?” I mumble.
Worry shines in the obsidian void as our gazes lock. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I j-just—” I snap my eyes shut. “What were you saying before?”
Kaiden’s big hand engulfs mine in my lap. The visceral reaction to his touch anchors me to reality. I take the opportunity to cram as much air as I can into my useless lungs.
His eyebrows knit, but he indulges me. “How did you get Emily out? I need to be prepared in case Grayson confronts me, since you killed one of the Order’s best assets. Cain was known worldwide for his skills.”
I sniff. “Well, I had someone distract the guy who watches the security cameras while I broke her out of the interrogation ro—”
“Who helped you?”
“Someone I can only hope I can trust.”
“What’s the name of the person, Iris? That’s what I want to know.”
I roll my eyes. “Noah Pierce. He’s been gone for a few years, but we were close once. I didn’t want to involve anybody else, okay? But I couldn’t have done it by myself.”
Kaiden’s eye twitches. “I know howcloseyou once were,” he spits out the words as warm as a glacier.
“Oh yeah, I forgot you’ve been stalking me for years,” I fire back while pushing his hand away as if it’s venomous.
He white-knuckles the wheel. “Are you a hundred percent sure you can trust him?”
“I don’t know, Kaiden. Can you be a hundred percent sure about anyone these days?” I can’t resist adding, “I’ve trustedyou…and look where it’s gotten me.” I let him stew in my words for a few moments to make sure I got my point across before continuing, “We’ve made a deal, and I think he will respect his end of the bargain.”
The vein on the side of his forehead is pulsing so violently, I’m afraid it’s going to burst any second now. “What. Deal?”
“That concerns me and me alone.” I suck on my teeth. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone saw me. I was careful to take back all the daggers I used to disable the cameras. We were also already in the secret tunnel when Cain caught up to us and shot Emily. That’s where I killed him. So, as long as they don’t go into that tunnel…I think we’re good. But I’m not sure what the situation is at the compound. The screen on my phone got smashed in the struggle with Cain, and my battery is dead anyway, so I can’t call Noah to ask.” Now that my hands are free, I push back the bloody strands that escaped my braid. “On that note, how secret was that tunnel? Because if Grayson knows about it and finds Cain’s body, we’re fucked…well, actually, I am fucked.” Not that I didn’t take that risk into consideration when I decided to get Emily out. But if I can avoid rotting away in a cell for the rest of my life, of course, I’m going to take that chance.
Kaiden reads me like an open book. “Iris, I will level this entire city to mere ashes before the Aureal Council gets to you. Fuck that, I’ll burn down the entire world.”
And there it goes again: my heart is doing thecha-cha-chawhile my mind screams at the love-sick organ.
There’s a little pause as he switches lanes. “The tunnel is a secret. Mammon traded a lot of favors to get those original blueprints for leverage in case a war started between the Order and the Conclave. That tunnel was the first built when the Order arrived in America near the end of the sixteenth century. Since then, they’ve remodeled and updated the house many times, and when they built the new tunnel for transporting demons, they shut down the old one. It’s not even on the Order’s blueprints anymore.”
“Well, it did look deserted, so I hope you’re right. What about what the Order did? Directly violating the Treaty. What are you going to do about it?”
Kaiden huffs. A muscle pops in his cheek. “The only thing dark creatures can do in a situation like this is file an official complaint with the Aureal Council. They are supposed to open an investigation and then hold trial if there is enough evidence.”
I go from zero to one hundred in a second. “WHAT? But that’s crazy! They will never blame Grayson because he is one of them.”
“Exactly my point. Do you even know how many innocent dark creatures have been severely injured or killed at the hands of hellseekers since I took over as head of the Conclave? A hundred and fifty-seven—eight, if you count Emily too. And do you know what the Council has done, Iris? Jack shit. Because a lightborn can never be at fault, even if there were witnesses to attest to the crimes. I personally filed all the complaints and fought tooth and nail for each case, only for them to be dismissed or for the witnesses to disappear under mysterious circumstances. That’s why I wanted to storm the compound. Because I knew if I didn’t, Emily would end up dead, and Grayson wouldn’t even be reprimanded for it.”
Emily was right—the system is rigged in the Order’s favor. Thisis all new information for me and, if I had to guess…for everyone who’s not in a leadership position within the Order.
How the fuck did they keep so much from us?
I can’t believe I’ve been so blind. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve never even questioned this before. Dark creatures are briefly covered in the lessons at the compound before graduation, but we are only taught that we are not allowed to harm those under the Conclave’s protection because the Celestial Treaty forbids it. I always imagined that the repercussions would be equally as harsh as when dark creatures injure lightborn: a death sentence or life at Gomorrah. But now that I think about it…they were never stated.
