I lift my arms for him to slide another one of his delicious-smelling T-shirts over my head. In a swift move, Kaiden picks me up in his arms again, brings me to the bed, and sits me on top of it. He vanishes and reappears a few seconds later, holding a hairbrush. I extend my hand to take it from him, but he shakes his head before sitting next to me. His movements are soft as he brushes my hair wordlessly from tips to roots.
“You should rest,” he says before standing and laying down the hairbrush on the bedside table. “I’ll be two doors down in my office if you need me.”
I grab his wrist to stop him. “Stay.”
Kaiden looks over his shoulder at me, a deep frown etched on his forehead. “I can’t,” he rasps, licking at his lower lip.
“I don’t want you to go.”
He avoids my gaze. “There’s nothing else I want more in this world than to spend every second alongside you. And if it were up to me, I would chain you to my body and never leave this bed. But, after what you went through, I’m afraid I might hurt you. I just…” He swallows thickly. “I’m terrified that me touching you will bring back memories of what that piece of shit did to you…and I can’t…I…Fuck.”
“But—”
His eyes snap back to mine as he cuts me off. “I can’t trust myself around you. I want you too much, Iris. You can’t even comprehend the depth of what I feel for you. I crave you more than a heroin addict searching for his next fix. And that’s not what you need. Not right now. I don’t want to take advantage of your fragile state.”
“Don’t say I’m fragile. I’m not made of fucking glass,” I clip out. “What ifIwant you to touch me? That bastard almost took something from me I could never get back. But he didn’t break me.” I swallow the vise that threatens to choke me. “I want you. Please!” I don’t care if I sound desperate. I know that a man’s hands on me is not something I should want in this moment, not after what that scumbag tried taking from me.
The sad reality is that we live in a world ruled by men, and society stigmatizes women who embrace their sexuality. Let’s not even talk about seeking that sort of connection after being sexually assaulted. The accusing fingers somehow always turn on the victim.
What was she wearing? How short was her dress? What did she do to attract his attention?
She was asking for it.
She’s a slut.
She wanted it.
These words kindle a spark inside me that picks up speed untilit becomes a firestorm. Why should I letthemdictate how I heal? Aren’t women’s bodies policed enough as is? Well, fuck everyone who thinks they can tell me what I can and cannot do withmybody. They don’t own me.
My body, my fucking choice.
I push away the shame and the dirty feeling that clings to me like a petrol stain. “I am choosing this. Your touch is what I need right now. Erase him from my skin, Kaiden.”
His fingers twitch as if it’s physically painful not to make a move toward me.
“Plea—”
Kaiden disappears and blinks into existence on top of me, settling between my thighs while caging me in, bracing his weight on his forearms. He slants his lips over mine in a scorching kiss that sets me ablaze. My head spins as his silken tongue dances expertly against mine, and I lose myself in this blissful moment. He flips us. The yelp of surprise I let out as he settles me on top of his hips turns into a pained grunt when my ribs scream in protest.
“Fuck. I’m so sor—”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay. If we do this, Iris, you’ll haveto take everything you want from me. You’re in the driver’s seat, and I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world, riding along on the best journey of my life. I will not make a move unless you tell me to.”
I sink my teeth into my lower lip, unsure what to do next, letting Kaiden’s words wash over me. Determination soon settles in, and even though I’m insecure as fuck because of my limited experience, I won’t let it ruin this moment for me.
I discard my tee on the floor. “I want your hands and mouth on my breasts. I love it when you suck my nipples.”
His gaze smolders as it rakes over my curves. “You’re pure perfection, angel. Nothing in this world compares to yourbeauty.” Kaiden props himself up against the pillow in a sitting position beneath me. His hands glide to my breasts, his thumbs circling my areolas. Dipping down, his breath ghosts against my skin before his lips latch onto my nipple. A desperate whimper tumbles free from my parted lips in response. He alternates between them, sucking, biting, and licking until I’m a dripping, soaking mess over his hard body.
“I can’t take it anymore. Touch me. Please.”
“Where do you want me to touch you, angel?”
“You know…”
“Say it!” he commands in a raspy voice.
