Unrequited love is a burden no one wants to carry. I wonder if that’s why Josephine has always been distant with me, or if at least this is one of the reasons. Ever since we were kids, when she looked at me, I caught glimpses of searing anger, but they dimmed in the next second…as if I imagined them.
Oh, wow. I had no idea my mother and Owen were best friends. My aunt never mentioned anything on the subject. Well, to be honest, she had little to say about my mother either, and I didn’t want to push her. Even if I was starved for every little scrap she would throw my way.
Talk about a complicated love life. I wonder what Mom meant when she wrote that she and Aunt Josephine already had astrenuous relationship. I don’t get to find out because the drizzle that started a few seconds ago is already taking the shape of big, fat drops, and I don’t want to risk the journal getting even more damaged.
“I’ll be back soon, Mom. I promise,” I murmur and push up, hurrying my steps through the tombstones toward the exit.
14
Iris
These past few days have been interesting, to say the least. Working alongside Noah to patrol Ashville is the equivalent of walking a tightrope while doing a clumsy dance to avoid landmines at the same time. Because there are so many things I can’t tell him—even if I promised I wouldn’t lie anymore. At least our conversations haven’t veered toward the umbra attack and everything that happened after, but toward the past, reminiscing. And for that, I’m grateful.
But what I’m most grateful for is that tonight I get a break from Noah. If old Iris could hear my thoughts right now, she would have a conniption. The summer air is stifling, and a fine sheen of perspiration coats my hairline while I cross the street in the southern part of Ashville—where Britney and Erik’s apartmentis located. This part of the city is filled with skyscrapers, posh cafes, Michelin-star restaurants, and high-end boutiques, most of which a certain Elite demon owns—ugh, here I go again, thinking abouthim.
I take out my phone to look over the address I have in the notes app. Then check the time before flattening myself against the side of the building, blending into the shadows. Five minutes later, Britney’s blond ponytail swishes in the opposite direction. I wait until she disappears from my field of vision to step out of the darkness. In the next second, though, I’m pulled back by strong fingers shackling my wrist. I swiftly unsheathe one of my daggers and whirl to press it against the man’s throat, drawing blood. My eyes slam into quicksilver.
“Noah?” I ask in disbelief, while dropping my hand at the side of my body and stepping back. “What the fuck? What are you doing here?”
His jaw ticks. “I should be the one asking you that, don’t you think? So tell me, Iris, what areyoudoing outside Erik and Britney’s apartment building? I saw you waiting for Britney to leave, so you better think twice before spewing a lie.”
“I can’t believe you followed me. We had a deal,” I seethe.
He cocks an eyebrow. “Our deal was only regarding the schedule. You never said I can’t follow you. Now, start talking.”
Shit. This looks bad. So bad in fact, that if I don’t tell him about Erik, and the Order finds out about my nighttime activities, my ass will land in Gomorrah faster than I can blink.
Here goes all or nothing.
“I killed Erik.”
Noah gapes at me for a few blistering seconds. Tilts his head. Then places his hands on my shoulders. “I don’t think I’ve heard you right. You did what?”
I can barely hear myself over the war drum in my ears. “Erik is dead. I killed him.”
“What the fuck?” Noah lets go of me as if I’ve burnt him. “How? What happened?”
I prepared myself for the possibility that I might have to confess I killed Erik at some point, so I tell him the story I’ve rehearsed in my head, sprinkled here and there with lies and omissions—a mirror, really, of all our interactions since he came back. “Sam and I were at a club Saturday night. When she went to the bathroom, Erik found me at the bar. He wanted me to kiss him…I said no.” I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut before snapping my gaze back to his.
“He told me that Grayson put him up to watch me after the umbra attack. But he was already lurking in the shadows. I think he was stalking me.” I sniff. “Long story short, he roofied my drink when I wasn’t paying attention. Next thing I knew, I was outside, drugged out of my mind, and he came for me.” I blurt out the last words, “He tried to rape and kill me.”
It takes a few seconds for Noah to process my last sentence. When it finally lands, his entire body starts shaking. “FUCK!” he yells as he punches the wall at his back so hard, it leaves a dent in the bricks.
I flinch at the unexpected sound. Noah is still shaking as he turns, pulls me into an embrace, and cradles my head against his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me before, Iris?” he demands, indignation lacing his words.
“How could I tell anyone I killed a lightborn?” His embrace is supposed to be calming, but it only suffocates me. The realization that my body’s reaction to Noah might be the effect of Erik’s sexual assault makes my lungs fold in two. I can’t stand his touch anymore, so I push out of his hold to step back. “I’m sorry. I—I can’t do this.”
Confusion knits his eyebrows. Then, something flashes in his eyes before they turn all hail and thunder. “Is it because of him? Of what he did to you?”
“I think so.”
“Did he…did he…” he grits out through clenched teeth.
“No, he was about to. Somehow, I found a sliver of strength and stabbed him with the dagger I had hidden in my boot. You know I never leave my house without a weapon. He beat the shit out of me, though. That’s why I haven’t been at the compound all week. If it weren’t for Sam…”
His upper lip curls. “Good. He’s lucky you got him first. But where’s the body?”
“It’s best you don’t know. All I can tell you is that Sam took care of it when she found me.”
