His expression is crestfallen as his gaze flits to the sketchbook on the floor, then back to me. “Whatever you think—”
“I know you’re the one sending me flowers and chocolates every year for my birthday. I saw the receipts. I also heard Malik loud and clear. Don’t even try to gaslight me.”
His Adam’s apple rolls on a hard swallow, regret brimming in his tormented eyes. “It’s not what you think.” God, even in this moment he’s so damn beautiful it hurts to look at him. Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun. No wonder I got burned.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
I can’t believe I let a demon touch me like no other man has before. The worst part is that I have not only given him my body, but I’ve served him my heart on a silver platter, and he crushed it to smithereens.
“You’ve got five minutes. I want the whole truth. Start by explaining how you have what I’m sure is my sketchbook and how we really know each other,” I demand.
Kaiden works his jaw. “I can’t.”
I huff a derisive laugh. “How convenient.”
“You don’t understand—”
“Then explain!”
His fingers clench and unclench at his sides, and a bottomless pit forms at the bottom of my stomach that is filled by soul-crushing anxiety. All I want to do is curl into a ball on the floor,but the feeling is weird, foreign—as if it doesn’t belong to me. But how could it not?
Kaiden’s words snap me out of it. “There is a barrier on yourpowers. It resembles a mental shield or a wall. The memory loss was only a side effect. We knew it might happen, but I decided it was worth the risk at that moment. I wanted to tell you everything. You don’t even know how much…” He lets out a trembling breath. “But any spell that tampers with the brain is of the most dangerous and damaging out there. If I had told you anything…if Itellyou anything about your past, it might put you into a coma. That’s why it’s important that you remember everything yourself. I can’t risk it.”
I suck on my teeth. “Who’s we? What powers are you talking about?”
Kaiden remains silent.
I expel a frustrated huff. “Is it the seeing ghosts and rotting people? Did I do this before? Are the shadows from the alley a part of it?” Again, I’m only met by a blistering silence that makes my skin itch, but I don’t give up. “Why did you lock my powers?”
Our gazes engage in a silent war. “I can’t tell you.”
“You were there when my mother died, weren’t you?”
Nothing.
“Did you kill her?” I seethe.
A flash of anger bounces in the confines of his irises. “How can you ask me that?” he spits.
“How? HOW? You refuse to tell me anything. It’s a fucking valid question!”
“You know me, Iris. Do you think I would be capable of something like that?”
A manic laugh bubbles up my throat, but only a strangled whimper comes out. “That’s the thing. I DON’T KNOW YOU. What I know is that you’re a demon, and a demon killed my mother the day we fell into the canyon.” A new wave of nausea hits me.
Fuck me. What if I fell in love with my mother’s killer?
“You know what hurts the most, Kaiden?” I shake my head.“That I bared my soul to you, told you all about the accident—how much losing my memory hurt. And you didn’t say a fucking word. You moved into my apartment, and we spent every second together for weeks, yet you chose to stay silent.” I suck in a jagged breath. “Even if you’re telling the truth about not being able to come clean…you could have at least tried to explain that we knew each other when I asked. Fuck. You could have said something. Anything.”
“No, I couldn’t, because I couldn’t riskyou. I will always put you first, Iris.”
I will my legs, which feel heavier than two blocks of cement, to move. “This—whatever the fuck this thing between us is—endsnow,” I clip out before shouldering past him toward the dressing room.
Kaiden is hot on my heels. “You can’t leave,” he tells me, desperation coating every word and seeping out of his pores until I almost choke on it.
“Watch me,” I snap and strip out of his T-shirt, which, like a fool, I slept in because I fucking missed him and his intoxicating scent, even after finding the hidden sketchbook and the receipts. I couldn’t be more pathetic even if I tried. I throw it to the floor as if it’s poisonous.
“It’s not safe,” he says at my back, so close his warmth seeps into my bones.
