“It’s okay.” I wave off her offer. “I have all the books I need here.” I’m climbing the steps into Stella House when my cell phone starts ringing. Kady and Delilah freeze.
“It’s okay,” I reassure them after checking the caller ID and seeing their panicked expressions. The Silverwoods were calling incessantly until Kady showed me how to block their numbers. “It’s just my gram. I better take this.”
“Hello, Hedgey!” Gram sings brightly down the line. Hearing her voice is comforting, but it only makes me miss her more. “I’ve been worried about you. You haven’t been in touch. How are you doing?”
I wave goodbye to Delilah then head upstairs.
“Sorry, I’ve … um … been really busy with classes and studying.” And my heat coming, getting knotted by three alphas who are my scent match, then learning one of them is the kind of alpha I’ve always feared. Suppressing a groan, I steer the conversation to safer territory. “How are you? How’s the shop?”
“Oh, we’re fine here,” she chirps. I hear the faint sound of bubbling in the background and picture her stirring a large pot over the stove while balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder. “Do you remember Alice? Lulu’s niece? She’s staying with her for the next few months and has been helping me with the postal orders. She’s been dancing around the shop, making a real mess for videos that she’s posting online, as you can imagine.”
I laugh. “That sounds like Alice.”
I haven’t seen her for a few years. When she was younger, she used to stay with Lulu—Gram’s book club bestie and fellowOmega Rights activist—over the summer. Alice is a few years younger than me and is always getting herself into some kind of trouble. She’s also the clumsiest person I’ve ever met.
“But whatever she’s been doing is working!” There’s no missing the excitement in Gram’s tone. “We’ve had orders flying out the door all week! We even shipped some to Europe, can you believe it? It’s not the same without you, though, Hedgey. How are your classes? Is Gregory Grub as nice as he sounds in his books?”
“He’s…” I don’t have the heart to tell her that one of her favorite authors acts like a total douche. “Well, I don’t think he likes me much.”
“Oh?” There goes her excitement.
“He’s got high expectations. That’s all.” I try keeping my spirits up. “I made a new friend in class. An omega called Amora.”
“Another new friend!” she gushes. “How are you settling in at Stella House?”
“The girls are amazing. You’d love them.”
“I hope to meet them one day. And what about clubs or societies? You spent hours searching through the club catalogs before you left.”
Excitedly scouring the internet and flipping through SVU brochures behind the counter at Blooming Brew feels like a lifetime ago. I can’t help feeling that I’ve disappointed the old version of me, the one who was dreaming of this moment. Nothing has been like I expected. My time here has been dominated by unexpected heats and the Silverwoods. My first weeks of college have been eventful for all the wrong reasons.
I’m racking my brain for something to tell her when I remember meeting Nia this morning.
“There’s an Omega Unite rally on campus this weekend. Me and the Stellas are going. I may paint some banners.”
“You’ve had plenty of practice.” She chuckles. “I’ll send some badges down for you all to wear and give out.”
“That’d be great.” I attempt to muster enthusiasm, but my tone falls flat.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Hedgey?” Even at a distance, she can detect changes in my mood, no matter how hard I try to hide them. “You know I can always tell when something’s on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”
As much as I’d love to talk to her about the Silverwoods, I’m afraid of how she’ll react. I know she was already hesitant about me going to a college so far away, and I don’t want to give her another reason to worry when she’s already got so much going on.
“I’m fine.” I chew on my nail. “Just tired, that’s all. It’s been a long day.”
“Alice!” Gram’s shriek almost deafens me, followed by a smash and general commotion. “What the heck are you doing?”
“Sorry, Betty!” I hear Alice in the background. “I thought if I could balance on top of the stool, I’d get a good angle of the rose tea brewing. I didn’t mean to knock over those jars?—”
“I have to go, Faye.” Gram sighs, although I can tell she’s not really mad. I’m sure she loves having the extra company, despite the risk of the shop getting destroyed by Alice’s attempts to make viral videos. “Keep in touch, okay? I’m always here if you want to talk. Love you, Hedgey.”
“Love you too,” I murmur, squeezing my eyes shut, trying my hardest not to cry.
I miss her. I miss Blooming Brew. I miss my old life, and more than that, I miss them. The Silverwoods. I stashed all the presents they sent me in my closet because I didn’t have the strength to throw them away, and now, in a moment of weakness, I find myself seeking them.
It’s all I have of them. All I’ll ever have of them.
I grab the striped blanket from Cole and rub my face in it, breathing it in. I see Mr. Snuggles, staring up at me from the bottom of the box, and my heart breaks as I hold him close. I can’t hold the tears back any longer. I sob while clutching the soft bear, letting my emotions pour out. Why did this have to happen, and how is it fair that their scent is exactly what my body needs, even after everything that’s happened?
