This is my opportunity to tell her that she consumes my every thought of every waking moment. That I can’t stay away from her. That I can’t help myself because she’s mine.
That when I’m not here in this parking lot or trailing her every move I’m sitting at home at my desk monitoring her socials like it’s a paid job. That I sit at my desk watching her TikToks over and over.
But the words choke me. If I tell her, she might run. She might think I’m a freak and never look at me again. And I can't risk that.
“Flynn?” She whispers.
My head jerks up. Before I can form words, she keeps going.
“I think about you all the time,” she says, her voice trembling. “Every time you leave, I feel… empty. Like you take a piece of me with you.”
Her eyes gloss with tears that spill over her lashes, rolling down her cheeks. “I left a date this morning because even the thought of pumpkin spice floods my mind with painful memories ofyou.”
She presses a hand to her chest, shaking her head. “I stay up at night wondering what’s wrong with me. Why can’t you stay? Is it because I’m broken? Unlovable?”
Her voice cracks, shattering me. “Is that why you hide from me? Because if you show me who you really are, then you can’t just run away when you’re tired of me?”
I can’t breathe. My heart slams against my ribs, my throat squeezes closed, my hands tremble in my lap.
Her words burn inside me, and I can't take it. She’s breaking, and I’m the one who did this to her.
Her voice wavers, but the words pour out like a bleeding wound.
“I…I think I love dark romance so much because nobody has ever loved me like that. Nobody.”
Her hands twist in her lap.
“No man. No parent. Not even friends or family. Nobody has ever looked at me and thought I was worth staying for.” Her voice cracks, and my chest caves with it.
“I think I ache for it,” she whispers. “For someone to be so enamored by me they’d do anything—crazy things—just to have the opportunity to love me. To rip the world apart just to share air with me.”
Her eyes lift to mine and her voice hardens.
“I want someone to be so obsessed with me that they won’t run. Not like everyone else has. Someone who won’t abandon me. Someone who willchaseme past the edges of sanity, to the dark corners no one else would dare”
All I can think is:That’s me. It’s always been me.
I start to speak, and she lifts her finger.
“Flynn, I don’t care if you’re old, if you think you’re ugly, or if you—I don’t know— are covered in warts. I don’t care what your reason for hiding yourself is. As long as it’s not because you’re afraid you can’t run from me if you don’t.”
Her words hang between us, raw and trembling, stabbing straight through my chest.
I drop to my knees in front of her, my body shaking, my lungs faltering.
“Opal…” my voice is raw, breaking. “I—I don’t know what to say.”
Her eyes are wide and wet, searching mine even through the shadows of the mask. I forcemyself to keep going, the words ripping out of me.
“I know you walk home from work because… because I follow you.” My hands fist at my side, shame and obsession colliding. “I’ve been following you since the first day I laid eyes on you. I can’t help myself. If I don’t have eyes on you—whether that be in person or in your adorable book reviews—I…” my voice falters, chest heaving. “I go mad.”
Her mouth hangs open.
My throat burns as I choke out the rest. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first time I saw you in that bookstore. You’ve ruined me, Opal. And I don’t particularly want fixing.”
I reach for her hand, my gloved fingers trembling as I guide hers to the edge of my mask. My heart pounds so violently it hurts. I hold still, silent.
A wordless permission.
