“The chocolate with sprinkles!” She bounces happily in her chair and my chest constricts at how happy she looks. I’mtempted to just avoid our big talk altogether and simply revel in having my babygirl back home with me.
But after an entire night of lying awake, running every moment of our day from the waterpark to her falling asleep at my breast, through my mind, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s still something wrong. Some hurt I haven’t addressed. And I know, deep in my heart, that if we don’t dig out all those little poison darts they’ll continue to taint our relationship.
So we’ll pluck them out, one by one, even if it means we have to sit here all morning and talk this whole damn thing to death. With that in mind, I pluck her donut from the box and lay it on her plate before choosing a Bavarian cream for myself, praying the sweet treat gives me the strength I need for our talk.
“All right, little one. We need to talk about yesterday.”
It kills me to watch the light in her eyes dim, but I know it’s for the best. “Already did,” she mumbles around a mouthful of donut.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full, little one. It’s rude.”
Swallow hard, she brushes prettily and ducks her head. “Sorry, Mommy.”
“It’s all right, baby. And I know we talked about some of what happened, Mommy just wants to be very, very sure that what happened yesterday never happens again.” I pause, the question I know I need to ask sitting heavy on my tongue. “Was there… Did Mommy do anything to make you doubt the way I feel about you?”
Tears well in her eyes. “No. I’m just a bad person,” she whispers, her voice tight, and my heart breaks clean in two.
“Oh, my sweet baby. You are nothing of the sort. Why would you ever say such a thing?”
“Because I don’t wanna share you!” The words burst out of her on a sob, her shoulders shaking with the force of it as she covers her face.
Stunned, I can only stare as I try to wrap my mind around what she’s saying. “Share me? Baby, you never have to share me with anyone.”
“But Ido. I share you witheveryone. Especially the other Littles. And I know it’s not the same and I know it’s not fair for me to want you all to myself but sometimes I wish I didn’t ever have to share you with anyone, ever, and you could just be my Mommy instead of Auntie Cat.”
“My precious girl.” Reaching for her, I pull her onto my lap, and for once she comes without hesitation or worry, curling into me as she weeps. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you were hurting so badly. Forgive me, my love?”
“It’s not you, it’s me. I’m bad and mean and?—”
“Hush. You are none of those things, Alexis Paige. You are sweet and loving and everything I’ve ever wanted in a Little girl. And while I can’t promise you won’t ever have to share me with the other Littles, Icanpromise that you are the only Little girl I want for my own. The only Little girl who will ever get to call me Mommy, or feel my cock in her sweet little cunt.”
“I know that,” she says with a soft sigh, her tears slowing as she turns her head to rest on my shoulder. “I do. But sometimes I feel like there’s two versions of me. The grown-up version that’s more logical and knows you’re allowed to have a relationship with the other girls and that it doesn’t take anything away from what we have.”
“And the other part?”
“The other part is a jealous little two-year-old who wants all of Mommy’s attention for herself and gets mad when she can’t have it.”
“Oh, baby. That makes me so fucking happy to hear.”
She jerks her head up, her eyes wide with surprise. “It does?”
“Of course it does, my sweet little imp. I love that you’re as jealous of sharing me as I am of sharing you. Don’t you remember what happened back at the farm?”
“I do…” A blush steals across her cheeks, making her look even more adorable than usual.
“If you feel half of what I felt that day when you see me playing or snuggling the other girls then it’s no wonder you acted out.”
“I thought you’d be mad. Because it’s stupid and petty of me to be so jealous.”
“It’s not. Not at all. I’myourMommy, and I love that you’re so possessive of me.” I hesitate, not wanting to undermine how happy it makes me to finally get the truth from her. “But we really can’t have another incident like yesterday. Maybe we need a special word, just between us. So when you’re feeling jealous Mommy can give you some extra attention and nobody has to get hurt in the process.”
“Do-dos!” Pointing at the table, her entire face lights with happiness. “Can our word be do-dos, Mommy, please?”
My throat tightens with emotion. “That’s perfect, baby. Whenever you start feeling jealous, just tell Mommy you want some do-dos and I’ll know that means you need Mommy’s attention.”
“Okay, Mommy!” The bright smile slowly fades as she nibbles on her bottom lip. “There was one other thing…”
“What is it, baby?”
