“I know.” From the other end of the phone comes a defeated sigh. “I’m sorry I swore at you. I just… Whathappenedtoday, Cat?”
He sounds as bewildered as I feel. “I genuinely don’t know. Alexis wouldn’t share her toys with Tori and when I insisted she threw one at her and I think it startled Tori so badly she fell. But I still have no idea what got into my sweet girl.”
“Sometimes Little girls just don’t like to share. It might not be any deeper than that.”
“Maybe. But I can’t shake the feeling itismuch deeper. She’s been so well behaved the past two weeks, almosttoogood. Then today she just… snapped. And you didn’t see the way she wascrying after I spanked her. Sobbing like her heart was breaking. Way harder than the spanking itself warranted.”
“I have no doubt you’ll figure it out. You’re a good Mommy, Cat.”
Letting my head fall back against my office chair, I groan. “Everyone keeps telling me that. I don’t feel like a good Mommy at all, though. I feel like a complete asshole. I should have waited until I wasn’t so angry to spank her, should have let her tell me what was wrong first.”
“We all make mistakes, Cat. Comes with the territory. Let her sleep it off, then have that talk with her. And if you need me to wait until tomorrow to bring Victoria over, that’s fine.”
“Thanks. I may do that.” A night alone with my babygirl, all snuggled up in her pajamas while we eat pizza in front of the tv sounds pretty perfect right now, all things considered.
“I’m going to go check on my babygirl. Just let me know what you decide, one way or another. If you decide to wait though, let her know Uncle Max still loves her.”
Tears sting my eyes at his words. “Will do.”
We end the call and I sit for a while longer, staring down at the dark screen in my hand. And again find myself torn between the desire to go upstairs and wake my babygirl, to force her to talk to me, to tell me what happened today.
But in the end, I decide to let her sleep, at least a little while longer. She’s had a hard day, and the conversation we need to have won’t be any easier if she’s cranky and whiny because her nap was interrupted. It has nothing to do with me being a huge fucking coward and putting off our talk as long as possible.
Nothing at all.
Alexis
The docks are farther than I remember, and by the time I reach them, my legs and feet are aching. But when I spot the boat, my knees go weak with relief and a sob catches in my throat.
Freedom.
Even from a distance, however, it’s easy to spot the men lingering on the docks themselves, all thick beards and giant muscles as they yell and gesture to the men on the boat. Still hugging the treeline, I watch them move, my tired brain struggling to figure out how the hell I’m going to sneak onto this damn ship without being noticed.
A whistle blows, so loud I have to slap my hands over my ears, and the men on the dock head toward the ramp that leads up into the boat.
My guardian angel must be feeling guilty for letting me get into this mess in the first place, because there’s no way I’mthislucky.
With a quick, frantic check of my surroundings, I race down the hill as fast as I’m able, my legs quaking with every step. I slip a few times, sliding down the rough terrain as the forest gives way to the sandy beach, and I send up a prayer of thanks to past me for having the foresight to put on overalls instead of a dress.
Miraculously, my luck holds and nobody spots me as I make my way up the ramp and onto the ship. But the moment I step foot inside, my good fortune wavers. Voices, rough and commanding, coming my way.
Panic claws at my chest and I make a dive for the very first door I come to.
A closet. Not the best hiding spot, but at least it’s empty and gives me space to breathe for a little while. At least until someone needs cleaning supplies or I find the courage to sneak out again.
Pressing my back up against the wall, I slide to the floor, drawing my knees up to my chest. And try to convince myself that my heart isn’t breaking all over again because I’m leaving behind the only woman I’ve ever loved.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Catharina
I give Alexis another hour before heading up the stairs to wake her, my heart pounding with every step. Pausing outside her nursery door, I drag in a deep breath, mentally trying to shake off the unease. I’ve spent my life walking into rooms where I knew I’d have to fight for what I wanted against people who wanted nothing more than to see me fail.
Surely I can handle one naughty Little girl.
And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that something is very, very wrong as I turn the knob and push the door open a small fraction.
“Alexis? Are you awake, baby?”
