With the lemon bar debacle behind us, my sweet Alexis seems much more herself as she munches on the brownie Gavin scavenged from the kitchen just for her. Every satisfied little hum from my babygirl fills my chest with joy, until it feels like I might actually float away, I'm so happy.
But as Maxwell and I feed our Little ones, I notice Alexis can’t seem to sit still. Every few seconds, she squirms on my lap, and it isn’t until she presses her legs together that I realize what the problem is.
“Alexis, do you need to potty?”
Red blooms on her cheeks. With her fair complexion, the color is stark and bright and so freaking adorable I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling at how cute my Little girl is.
“Yes, Mommy,” she whispers, and again I have to keep myself from chuckling at her obvious embarrassment.
“All right. Use your diaper and then Mommy will change you.”
Every bit of color drains from her cheeks. “I can’t do that!”
“You can, and you will, little girl.” Despite how cute I find her, I force myself to stay stern and unyielding on this point.
“No! I'm not going to and you can’t make me!”
Before I can react, Victoria leans forward to pat Alexis’s arm. “It’s okay, Lexie. I use mine all the time. It was really hard at first, but you get used to it.”
Lexie. What a cute nickname for my adorable Little girl.
On my lap, Alexis stares at Victoria, her mouth hanging open in surprise. “You really pee in your diaper?”
“Uh huh. And, um, other things,” Victoria adds, her face flaming nearly as red as my Little girl’s now. “It’s kinda nice, actually, knowing you have someone to take care of you like that.”
Nibbling at her bottom lip, Alexis lifts her gaze to mine. “You really want me to use my diaper like Victoria?”
“Nothing would make me happier, little imp.” Well, there is one thing, but I’m trying to not overwhelm my poor babygirl. There are already so many big changes for her to get used to, and as much as I long to nurse my very own Little one, I want to give her a little more time to get settled in. When I do nurse for the first time, I want it to be exactly the right moment.
Sensing my Little girl needs a moment to come to terms with this new information, I stay silent, waiting her out. And then, after several long minutes, she finally nods her head slowly.
“Okay, Mommy. I’ll use my diaper for you.”
For you. Two little words, and yet they fill me with an unimaginable joy. Knowing she’s doing this, not because she wants to or because she’s afraid of the consequences, but because she wants to please me is all I could have asked for.
Again, there is a part of me thinking that this is all too easy. None of the others were able to gain their Little girls' compliance so quickly.
But that’s a bridge to be crossed if and when we ever come to it. Right now, I have a Little girl who desperately needs to empty her bladder. Shifting her on my lap, I press on her abdomen, gently rolling the full organ beneath my hands.
“Daddy, um, I need to potty, too.”
I glance over at Victoria, who blushes but winks in my direction, letting me know that it isn’t a coincidence that she suddenly “needs” to use her diaper.
Thank you, my sweet little niece.
Cradling Alexis close to me, I push harder on her abdomen. With a soft whine, she presses her face into my neck, and my heart constricts at the knowledge that she’s seeking comfort in me already.
“Shhh, little imp. Just close your eyes and relax your muscles. Mommy will help your body do the rest.”
I can’t see her face to tell if she’s closing her eyes, but I can feel her relax at least a little bit in my arms as I press harder on her bladder.
A moment later, the gentle sound of liquid filling the cotton of a diaper meets my ears, but I realize with a stab of disappointment it’s not coming from my own Little girl. Still, maybe I can use it to help encourage Alexis.
“Do you hear that, baby? Victoria is using her diaper. If she can do it, I know you can, too. My good little imp.”
“I’mtrying,” Alexis whines, shifting again on my lap. “It’s hard.”
“I know, baby. But it would make Mommy so happy if you could use your diaper like Tori.”
