And for every nurse out there making the world better for patients.
And for every person who’s had cancer and thought they were supposed to act or feel a certain way.
Who felt like they had to beinspiring,and then felt guilty when they weren’t.
Who stood in a pond, feeling alone.
Whose identity becamepatient,but who still carved out space to be themselves.
Even if it meant crying in the shower.
Or laughing at moments that would make others wince.
Or rediscovering tiny parts of themselves with partners, parents, kids, friends… books.Stories they got lost into and found some peace and joy.Or processed feelings between the pages because it was safer.Or with a therapist who taught them it was okay to ask for help, to be themselves, who helped them realize that you could cry and laugh and be.
The ones who were unlucky when partners bailed (it happens) or very lucky with partners who not only stayed but tried to make everything better, who even went to therapy with you to learn to communicate even better (I'm lucky :-)).
Who are still living.In any way they can.And who know progress isn’t linear.
It’s also for those who didn’t make it.And the ones still in the thick of treatment.Hoping.Crying.Laughing.I carry them with me.And I want to honor them.Somehow.
Not long ago, I readHeartless HunterandRebel Witchby Kristen Ciccarelli.And at the end ofRebel Witch,she mentionedHeartless Hunterwas her fuck-it book.
This is what she said about it:
For what it's worth, Heartless Hunter was my "fuck it" project.When I first sat down to write this story, I'd just had a baby and was very much in survival mode.I did not care what anyone thought about this book screaming to get out of me because I didn't have room to care.
(…)
I hope you find the courage to be unapologetically yourself and start making your life—and maybe even the world—what you and the ones you love need it to be.
Kristen Ciccarelli
When Eve became a nurse who had cancer and it didn’t define her, but it informed who she is now?It felt right.
And yet, I’d thought of all the reasons not to give a rom-com main character a cancer history.
Why?
Because I was scared.Scared I wouldn’t do her justice.Scared I was putting too much of myself on the page.Scared readers would think,“Ugh!Cancer?”
And then I thought of the book I wanted to write.How right it felt.How it felt likeEve’sstory.
And I thought:Why the fuck not?
And I decided to be courageous.
So… this one?
