“Me too, Rick. I…I…”
Rick kissed him again, stealing the words out of his mouth. Which was probably good, because it was still too soon. But he wanted to love Rick more than anything. When their lips parted. Rick smiled so sweetly, Coop thought he would die without thisman. “Okay, Hot Wheels. We’ll talk more about our future later. Okay? Because I want one. With you, I mean.”
“Me too.”
Rick nodded. They hugged again, then Rick got behind the wheel and pulled away from the curb. Coop stood there and watched him go until he couldn’t see him anymore. Then he huffed and got in the damn truck. His ass ached, but not as much as his heart. What the fuck were they going to do?
All the way back to the Dublin camp, he worried over it. Camp would be over soon. Maybe they could meet up a few more times, but then…when the season starts, Coop would be traveling all over the US, no matter where Rick ended up. How the fuck was this ever going to work? He hadn’t figured it out by the time he pulled into the camp. He parked the truck in front of his cabin for Vick to pick up later.
He walked in and sprawled out on the single bed. He needed food and rest, but maybe not in that order. Instead, he pulled out his phone and shot off a text to Rick.
Me: Back at camp. You were amazing!! Can’t wait for next time.
It took less than ten seconds for a reply to come in.
Soldier Boy: SAME! To all of that. Can U talk?
Coop didn’t respond to the text. He hit the call button.
Rick answered before it had hardly even rung. “I miss you already, Hot Wheels.”
“Damn, I miss you too, Soldier Boy. I can’t talk long. Still need to eat and sleep. I hit the track early tomorrow, but I wanted to tell you something.”
“Sure. What?”
Coop exhaled like he was letting everything go. Surrendering. And he was also being overdramatic. “I know when my season starts, I’ll be traveling all over. So…I’m not sure we’ll be able to figure shit out, but maybe that conversation should be later? I mean. If I had my way, you’d travel with me and be at all the races, but I know that’s not practical. Like at all. So. We keep talking and figuring out when we can meet up and then what’s next. Same as we’ve been doing. Right?”
“Yeah. Right. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Me either. But I don’t want it to end. Not over this. Even if it’s rocky for a while. I mean. I know your career is probably more important than mine, and until I met you, racing was everything.”
“Fuck, Coop. Racing is imp—”
“Stop. You don’t have to answer anything. Let’s think about it and talk more later. Okay?” That was probably the next best thing to admitting he was in love with the man. And thinking about how open he was, how vulnerable, with Rick, made his chest tight.
Finally, Rick said, “Okay.” And it was a simple, quiet word, but it warmed up everything inside of Coop.
“I need to go now. Text or call me whenever. If I’m on the track, I’ll call back when I can.”
“Okay. Bye, Hot Wheels.”
“Later, Soldier Boy.”
Coop lay in his bed for a long time after he hung up. Not thinking but feeling. Wondering. What could be if they could only hold on. Eventually, he dozed off without eating and woke up the next morning, very early and very hungry.
***
He ate a decent breakfast in the cafeteria they set up for the racers, then pulled on his gear and headed out to the shop where they stored the bikes. Kevin, his mechanic, was leaning over the bike. “Coop! Hey. We’re ah…about…ready.” He straightened, holding the handlebars with one hand and the other gripped the back of the seat. “We’re on track three. If you’re ready, you can ride us out there.”
“Sure.” Coop took the bike from him, but before he could start it, Kevin gripped his elbow. Coop looked up at him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Sure. I had an amazing weekend, but time to get on the track. Let’s go.” He sounded overly chipper, even to his own ears. Kevin glared at him but didn’t say anything. He started the bike and Kevin got on behind him. They rode over to the right track where Dane Powers, his coach, was waiting for him. “Yo! Coach!”
Dane had him practicing starts for most of the morning, then he was going to do a few laps. Kevin wanted to get data from the sensors he’d adjusted on the bike that morning. “Take it like a race, Coop. All out.” Kevin directed as he tapped the screen of his tablet.
Coop pulled on a fresh pair of goggles and lined up behind the single gate they had set up.
