“So what? I can walk on fire? Juggle it? Fart it? Why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”
“I have more relatives than fingers who can fart fire, that wouldn’t make you special. But think, Copper went toe to toe with Ixchel, a Goddess with a major affiliation to the sun. Which means she, you, your entire family, have an even greater, more powerful, connection to the sun. And baby Sunny is connected to the sun. What if you were immune, or even partially immune to her powers? That’s probably why the Fate called you a trojan horse. You could walk in and no one would suspect you capable of handling the baby.”
“And Nell?” Gigi really didn’t want to ask.
“Extraneous now.” Darcy stated pragmatically. “She’d be killed, and the baby ripped out of her. Presumably if Sunny had arrived earlier, then probably some kind of major distraction would have been organised. Qetesh’s followers are mind fogged cannon fodder with no sense of self preservation, she could tell them to do anything she wanted.”
“But none of them would survive handling the baby.” Nico surmised grimly.
“So Qetesh runs to Mummy and tells her the fantastic news, she’s found you, Nico, a fire touched. But is forced to admit you’re fighting the call of the cursed ring. Hathor calls in a favour owed, Sek and Mot, who send their sand monster to swoop Nico up, but get a two for one offer, as Gigi tags along. Once Qetesh has you, she sinks everything she has into bringing you over completely to the gold glittery world of fucked up slave puppets. Except something about the two of you being together makes you immune or partially immune. Your magic?” Darcy’s web twanged off-key, no, it didn’t like that option. She had asuspicion, but really didn’t want to go there, though now her web was twanging like a bloody fire alarm at three in the morning. “Whatever happens when you guys are in close proximity, it helps stave off her hold.”
“Except that bubble of immunity has shrunk to a ten foot radius.” Nico growled, feeling like somehow he’d failed.
“Well, given your cover story, that shouldn’t present a problem going forward.”
“Hold on. What do you mean by that?” Gigi was confused. “We know who the bad guys are. We know their target. Send Elijah and the Enforcers in. Behead. Smite. Take no names. Once Qetesh is dead the curse on Nico will be lifted. And everything can get back to normal.”
“We can’t just go around killing deities, not without hard proof. Otherwise the powers-that-be might feel we’ve overstepped. We either need rock solid proof, or to catch Hathor and her daughters in a heinous act.”
“You…” Merciful Lady give her strength. “You’re not proposing the baby shower still go ahead as scheduled?”
“Yes.”
“That’s crazy.” Nico’s tone echoed Gigi’s incredulous one.
“Look, the baby shower is the one place we can guarantee Qetesh and Neith will appear. We think this rivalry for Mummy’s love and approval will drive them to make desperate and foolish mistakes. Neith has already sunk a boat load of money into the problem by hiring expensive contractors. And as for Qetesh, her followers aren’t all that easily replaceable these days. She sacrificed a bunch of perfectly placed Mount Olympus spies when she triggered the cherubs. And she’s thrown away two of her top grade former soldier boys for this operation, trying to poison the party food and hunt Nico down. Both demi-twats are heavily invested in nabbing Sunny for their Mother.”
“And Nell and Drum are okay with this?”
“Double-wide is a constant green shade these days knowing any moment Sunny will be making an appearance. But his fellow Maat Warriors will all be present and on high alert.”
“And I assume every Enforcer on the schedule and everyone retired will want to be in on the action.” Gigi mentally making a shopping list to take care of the increased numbers if they really were going ahead and throwing this baby shower.
“Not exactly. We’re keeping the information on the downlow. Only Elijah, Taite and Adrian are in the know. Can you just imagine what would happen if our relatives found out what was going on? They’d be throwing around their magic every time a bird flew past. Exploding things. Freezing things. Burning things. We intend to make the drinks extra strong and keep everyone nicely contained near the bar, where we’ll throw up a few impenetrable magic shields around them if we have to. So, in the spirit of keeping our family safe and heading off a potential deity led threat, I hear by, as the Southern Sanctuary Liaison, command the two of you to up your game when it comes to keeping everyone distracted.”
Gigi and Nico shared a confused look.
“This thing you’ve started up…” Darcy sensed the duo tense so hard they practically vibrated. Bringing up the fact they’d clearly had sex last night would be crass, and low hanging fruit. Time for a little fun. If she had to sully herself by playing matchmaker in order to keep her web singing rather than annoyingly twanging, then everyone, family included, would just have to pay a steep price to keep her entertained. “… this pathetic little romance the two of you claim to be conducting. Please, where’s the sizzle? The attraction? The heat? We have a plethora of nosey and very opinionated relatives. Now that the shock of your hook-up has passed they’re really going to start watching you two to see which way the wind is blowing and trying to gauge if they should change their bet or double down. I need big timedistractions. I don’t want anyone wondering about why Maat’s Warriors are loitering around Nell so much. Our cover story is their hanging around to catch Drum in case he faints again, by the way. Just say the word placenta out loud near him if you need to shift everyone’s attention. Although, the family are getting a little jaded when it comes to his fainting fits, so we need new exciting fresh distractions. Which is where you two can help.”
“Distractions?”
“I’m not talking faux sex in public. You know how canny the family are, they can sense falseness. And you two are so wooden every time you interact, you make Pinocchio look like a smouldering porno actor.”
That wasn’t true, was it? Gigi fought hard not to look Nico’s way, or protest. Determinedly biting her lip, she would not point out to Darcy that the kiss they’d shared at the Five Alarm Bar had been so hot it broke the curse’s hold on all those single women.
“What are you suggesting we do?” Nico gritted out the words, he didn’t seem to be enjoying Darcy’s critique of their acting skills any more than she did.
“Sexy times. Or at least fake it, so anyone watching from a distance will believe you two could genuinely be a couple.” Darcy added a scoff. “As if.” Hiding a smile as the duo’s neck and shoulder muscles tightened. For some reason everyone took umbrage at her scoffs. They invariably ran when she smiled. But if Darcy wanted to challenge someone, get them to step up, a scoff worked over ninety percent of the time. She’d tested it. And continued to test it almost every night in bed with her gorgeous yet annoying meld mate.
“Um…?” Gigi grimaced inwardly, she and Nico had spent the night together. Goddess, everything was getting so complicated and awkward, cringing mentally at the thought of going out inpublic, having to interact with him in an intimate sexy manner. Because sex was just sex. Flirting, talking, that’s what couple’s did. And they were so not, nor could they ever be, a couple.
“Look, it’s easy. Just think of all the things the meld couples do that we used to roll our eyes at constantly when we were younger. Dinner dates. Walks on the beach. Ohhhh, skinny dipping. How many times have a sheepish couple wandered the beach after dark looking for their clothes? Find reasons to touch one another for absolutely no reason. And the absolute no brainer, fight.”
“You want us to fight?” Nico was puzzled by that one.
“And make sure it’s about something insanely stupid.”
“That is a good idea.” Gigi had to agree, looking Nico’s way. “Stupid fights between couples in our family is pretty much our love language.”
