‘You’re different up there, d’you know that? More yourself.’ OK, just go for it, she told herself. ‘So .?.?. did Tanya and the boys like it up there?’ She could feel a shift in Pete’s body language, a defensiveness.
‘Tanya went once; it’s not really her sort of place. The boys just wanted to play computer games.’ God, he was so fucking careful – when was he going to open up?
‘Pete, do you mind if I ask you about Tanya?’
‘Ask away.’ He shrugged.
‘Why did you two split up? Was it just because of the money or .?.?. other reasons?’
She knew this could all blow up horribly in her face, but at this stage, what the hell had she to lose? She was in no man’s land anyway.
‘When I met Tanya, she was .?.?. She was actually with Tony, but things were always .?.?. rocky between them. They’re far too alike. And no, they’re not his kids either. So, they split .?.?. finally and we got together, so that was .?.?. complicated. He always said he was fine about us, but .?.?.’
Wow, a love triangle – this woman must be really something.
‘That sounds pretty intense. Did it not affect your friendship?’
‘No.’
‘Really?’
‘It changed it a bit, I suppose .?.?. I mean, he’d been more like a brother to me than my own brothers, but afterwards .?.?. it wasn’t the same. I missed him. If I’m being honest, I still do.’
‘Even after everything he did?’
Pete shrugged. ‘I know, it doesn’t make sense, but there you are.’ He paused. ‘I hadn’t really thought about that until now.And thank you for coming today. I’m sorry I went off and left you.’
‘Was that intentional?’ She looked sidelong at him. He didn’t reply but did his smile-huff.
‘Pete, why won’t you just freaking talk to me? I mean, what’s going on? Am I just your pal or your van DJ or what?’
By now they were heading towards the outskirts of the city, where streetlights were beginning to blink into life in long orange necklaces.
‘I really like you, Ally.’
‘But? There’s a but in there .?.?.’
‘What have I got to offer you? I have nothing. This van is my life right now.’
‘Pete .?.?. that’s not .?.?. important.’
‘If you really think that, I’m sorry but you’re being naïve.’
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time that accusation had been levelled at her. She’d heard it constantly when growing up.
‘Sorry, Ally, that sounded .?.?. not how I meant. I didn’t mean to be rude.’
‘Well, I thinkyou’rebeing totally naïve, Pete. Because people’s circumstances can change, it’s not who they are. And it sounds like a lot of the people around you saw wealth and success as the only markers of worth. And that’s not me. And I’m not a fool, but if you think that’s naïve, then you’re probably right. And you’re entitled to your opinion. Anyhow, thank you for inviting me today to meet your mother – for what it’s worth, I think she’s lovely.’
There was a tightly packed silence in the van for the rest of the journey until finally, to Ally’s relief, they pulled up to her apartment.
‘Ally, I’m sorry about what I said, that’s on me. What you saw today with Mam .?.?. She’s in a really good place, but it wasn’t always like that. I’ve built a lot and I’ve been able to provide forher, and I’m proud of that.’ He glanced out into the darkness. ‘But if I were with you .?.?. I’d want to be able to buy you things, bring you places, look after you, and if I can’t do that .?.?.’
‘Pete?’
‘What?’
‘Shut up. You’re an idiot.’
