She was going to mention the phobia, but he looked disappointed enough.
‘Oh. Oh .?.?. I didn’t realise. Well, don’t worry, you’ll be roped on and I can lend you a figure of eight for your harness,’ he said, rummaging in his bag and pulling out a .?.?. thingy.
‘I’ll just attach it on with a locking carabiner, like so .?.?.’ He was concentrating on manipulating her harness, which was a not unpleasant feeling. ‘Anyway, we’ll be climbing as a couple so .?.?. what can go wrong?’
Weirdly, that made her feel a bit better. What if her only problem was anxiety? Once she let go of that, she could be absolutely fine. All that was left to worry about was the camel toe, but she reckoned that between the harness and the ropes, nobody would even notice. She turned and walked ahead of William.
‘Oh,’ he said, ‘you still have the label on your bottoms.’ And without asking for permission, he reached out and snapped it off. Mortifying.
They arrived at the wall, where scores of people, including small children, appeared to be flinging themselves fearlessly up the colour-coded routes like a troop of lemurs. I mean, if six-year-olds could do it, how hard could it be? He led her over to a stack-like structure that looked like something out of the Arizona desert.
‘I’ll lead and when I get to a certain height, I’ll clip in, and you can follow me,’ William explained, pulling on his fingerless climbing gloves that gave him an air of expertise, which was quite sexy, she had to admit.
He started climbing rapidly, finding his hand- and footholds deftly. She did her breathing and watched his taut arse, whichshe’d definitely never before seen from this angle, work its way up the wall. After a while, he stopped and gave her a thumbs up.
Right. This was it. Grip on to something and haul yourself up .?.?. one hand, one foot, one hand, one foot. After a couple of minutes, she looked sideways to find she was doing .?.?. well, not too badly. Nobody was paying her the slightest attention, which was great – she was unremarkable. Maybe this could turn out better than she’d imagined. Feeling just the smallest twinge of hope, she went back to her hand–foot rhythm. Looking upwards (not down, oh God, not down), she saw that William had started moving again, after clipping himself on with some contraption. Actually, once you just stayed calm and kept your mind on the job, this climbing thing wasn’t too bad, she decided. Maybe she could become one of those wiry, stunning girls with golden legs who climbed scenic rock faces in blazing sunshine—
‘Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!’
There was a piercing yell from someone, which turned out to be her.
She felt herself being yanked upwards and for a second she was only aware of swinging wildly on the rope, with no control, and crashing against the wall. She then became aware of the ground, which waswaaaayfurther down than it had been only moments before. At the same time, she realised that her harness was giving her a massive wedgie and slightly below her was .?.?. William. Their rope was going through a loop above them, and the whole thing was acting like a sort of giant weighing scales.
‘Get a grip,’ he shouted. ‘Grab a handhold and attach yourself on.’
Surprisingly, she managed to follow his instructions and found herself clinging back onto the wall, though her legs felt like jelly.
‘Sorry .?.?. sorry!’ he shouted. ‘Some eejit cut across me and I slipped. Are you OK?’
‘Yes, I think so,’ she blabbered.
Ally had no idea how she was, it hadn’t even dawned on her. What she did recognise, though, was that worrying about the worst thing that might happen was way worse than dealing with it when it actually happened.
‘Right,’ he said, ‘winch yourself down.’
How the hell did you do that?
The prospect of being helped down by large men on ladders was more humiliating than she could bear, so she somehow managed to winch herself down, scrutinised by all the other climbers and the rest of the crowd below. Oh God, her bottom had never felt bigger.
A few minutes later, they were both standing on the ground, William flushed with exertion, her pale with shock.
‘Wow, sorry about that, Ally – well-handled, though. Really gets the adrenalin flowing, doesn’t it? Really makes you feel alive.’
Actually, it had made her feel more like death. William didn’t seem to think so, however.
‘Just as well you were heavy enough to stop me falling too fast.’ He winked at her. ‘I reckon you weigh about—’
‘Don’t finish that sentence, William, if you value your life.’
At least he’d the grace to look a bit sheepish. ‘Seriously,’ he cheered up, ‘I thought you were moving really well up there. If you stick at it, we’ll make a decent rock-jock out of you yet.’
The only rocks Ally was contemplating came with a slice of lemon in a gin and tonic.
‘So .?.?.’ William enthused. ‘Will we take it easy and try a bit of bouldering now?’
Bouldering? ‘Ah, I don’t know, William. I think I might have done enough for this evening.’ This was clearly code forlet’s pack it in and go to the pub.She’d been hoping for a cosy, intimate drink, following their dramatic, potentially life-threatening fall. They were trauma-bonded after all, weren’t they? And wasn’t adrenalin famous for being an aphrodisiac? Not for William, apparently. His brain seemed to be working on the basis that you were eitherclimbingornot climbing. There seemed to be nothing in-between.
‘Ah, don’t worry at all, let’s get you home safely,’ he announced, leading her towards the front desk. So much for trauma bonding.
