Ally was elbow-deep at the sink doing some therapeutic pot walloping, when she heard a deep voice behind her. ‘Friend of yours?’ She swung around to find Pete unexpectedly close to her ear. Actually, it felt lovely.
‘Ex, or hadn’t you guessed?’
‘I recognised the signs, all right.’
‘Pete, be honest. Do I look .?.?. mature?’
‘Like .?.?. in a good way?’
‘No, obviously not. I mean old. He’s thirty-seven and she’s practically .?.?. an ovum.’
‘I wouldn’t touch her.’
‘Honestly?’
‘Not at all. Boring.’
She felt like throwing her arms around his neck.
‘I mean, that outfit he was wearing .?.?. That’s not him at all, he’s dressing like a total knob. It’s just hideous that he’s moved on so fast, especially as all of his friends are going to go “Phwoar!” like he’s done so much better than me, just because she’s young, even if her voice sounds like a hamster’s fart. What are you laughing at? It’s not funny.’
‘You’re far more attractive.’
For a moment Ally was nonplussed – had she heard that right? There was something almost sheepish in his tone, as though he felt uneasy saying it.
‘I’m thirty-five.’
The next moment nothing happened, but her heart lurched as though she could feel his energy reach towards her. But that was ridiculous, because neither of them had moved an inch.
‘All I’m saying is, if you’re spending your life trying to impress people, you’ll have no life of your own.’
‘Then you must be a stronger person than me.’
‘If I am, it’s only through being a bigger eejit than you can imagine, trust me. Anyhow, if you were meant to be together, d’you not think you would be?’
‘Really? You’re starting to sound like the little guy fromKung Fu Panda.’
‘Master Shifu? I’ve been called worse.’ He did a nerdy kung-fu pose. He’s seen those movies, she registered.
‘Anyway, there’s more fish in the sea. What about that lovely chap who knocked you down last week?’
‘Feck off. Haven’t you got some nails to hammer in?’ She flicked the dishcloth at his chest .?.?. He laughed and caught it .?.?.
Just then, Dave appeared round the door. ‘Come on, come on, guys, there’s customers waiting. Ally, you’re supposed to be my assistant manager .?.?.’
‘Sorry, chef,’ she muttered.
So much for being mature, she sighed to herself.
Chapter 8
At 5 p.m. exactly, Ally traipsed into the violet-neon interior of Pyg. Rosemarie was looking cosy at the bar, nursing the remains of a Prosecco.
‘Two Aperol spritzes, please.’
‘Aw, thanks, Ally.’
‘No, they’re both for me after the day I’ve had.’
