‘Knock yourself out.’
He was examining her attempts at embellishment and trying not to laugh.
‘Sooo, this is a spider caught in a high wind? And this one is a .?.?. charging buffalo in a snowstorm?’
‘Feck off, Pete, you’re not helping. Are they really that bad?’
He chuckled in a way that some men have, where his enjoyment of the situation was funny in itself.
‘I’m messing with you. Look, eighty per cent of your sales will be takeaways, and nobody’s going to give a monkey’s about the twiddles on top.’
‘And the other twenty per cent?’
He put on a face like a motorcycle cop. ‘That’s where you’ll have a problem .?.?.’
‘Shut up, Pete, you’re just trying to freak me out,’ she cried, and without thinking, she scooped a finger full of foam out of a cup and flipped it at him. For a moment he looked slightlyshocked then he scooped some cappuccino froth and flicked it back, watching it land on her hair. They both suppressed a giggle like naughty children.
‘Excuse me, I hope I’m not interrupting anything?’
‘Oh, yes .?.?. No, absolutely, what can I get you?’
Ally swung round to face one of the Gym+Coffee ladies: lightly bronzed complexion with fresh highlights and perfect teeth at least four shades whiter than most people could ever hope for. Ally instantly sobered up and tried to discreetly wipe the foam out of her hair while Pete slipped out of sight.
‘Hi, you’re new. Could I have an Americano, two shots, and leave room for the milk? Oh, and Dave always gives me twenty per cent off for getting it in my keep cup,’ she declared in a nasal whine.
‘Sure.’
Hang on, she thought, that meant nearly a euro off. On one coffee. That was outrageous. This one had clearly sussed that she was a new girl and was trying it on. On the other hand, she’d rather skydive off the roof than face conflict, and her opponent was clearly a total Karen who specialised in getting her own way. Dave wasn’t around, and she’d probably bully him anyway. There was only one person she could think of who wouldn’t be bullied.
Rosemarie.
She gave the woman a dead-eyed Rosemarie stare.
‘Yeah, sorry, I could give you a discount but it’s only ten per cent.’
‘May I see the manager?’
‘Sorry, he’s not here. I’m in charge.’
Ally was sure – this one did intimidate Dave and got herself a special rate, even though she could clearly afford full price. There was something about her sense of entitlement that was getting right on Ally’s tits, and there was no way she was backingdown. The woman inhaled ostentatiously.
‘Excuse me, I thought Dave liked to support those of us customers who actually care about the environment. Where does it say ten per cent discount on the menu?’
‘Nowhere.’
‘And would you like me to tell Dave next time I see him that you were disobliging to a valued customer?’
For a moment Ally wavered, but she knew in her heart that Rosemarie would hang tough.
‘Look, we give a small discount as a gesture of goodwill, but Dave can’t afford to undercut himself like that, even if he doesn’t like to refuse you.’
She was presenting the woman with a moral conundrum. Youcoulddo this, but what sort of an arsehole would it make you? The woman contemplated her for a moment then smiled. ‘Oh, sure, it’s nothing, just carry on.’
Ally beamed back brightly but it just showed – people treated you about as well as you taught them to.
The door had just clanged shut behind Mrs Gym+Coffee, when Pete reappeared. She explained the situation to him.
‘Well done. That one drives a car the Qatari royal family wouldn’t turn their noses up at. By the way, how are your fish?’
