‘Er .?.?. Just to give you a heads-up, you’ll have Samantha this time.’
She baulked. The younger children were a pleasure, but a raging teenager .?.?. well, it’d be an experience. Surely teenagers couldn’t have changed that much in .?.?. what, twenty years? She realised with a jolt that she still thought of herself as reasonably young and trendy, but to someone who genuinely was young, she’d seem exactly what she was, an almost middle-aged woman. That was something she’d managed to avoid facing up to now.
Aside from that, he’d made no mention of Marisha copping on about their relationship. It was possible that she’d so much else going on in her life that she didn’t really care.
‘Thank you, you’ve no idea what that means to me,’ he murmured in a voice that caused a glow of heat to rise from deep inside her. ‘I’ll make it all up to you, Cass, I promise.’
‘I can’t wait, babe, one of these days there’s going to be a bonanza .?.?.’
She heard him breathe a laugh. ‘Trust me .?.?.’
She really wanted to – she really wanted him – but there was no escaping the fact that most of it was out of her hands.
‘Babe, I’ve got to go.’
‘Yeah. Night night.’
Deep in thought after her call with Finn, Cassie padded into the kitchen to find Ramona in her off-duty, flat-hair persona. Her bruises had all but disappeared, but she was definitely hitting a slump. Cassie made a mug of tea and sat down at the table opposite her. There was a half-eaten pepperoni pizza in a box – nothing like Ramona’s usual high-protein diet.
‘What’s up?’
‘Nothing.’
Cassie sighed. Ramona could turn into an overgrown teenager sometimes.
‘Maybe this is just an opportunity for a rethink.’
‘Thanks, Cass, if I wanted a pep talk I’d have looked on TikTok.’
‘Your shoulder will heal, then you can go back to dancing.’
Ramona swung around and fixed her with a glare through her long, bleached fringe.
‘To take the sort of strain the pole puts on it, we’re talking months.’
Privately, Cassie reflected that this mightn’t be the worst thing in the world.
‘If I don’t have my lifestyle, I don’t have my followers. If I do nothing but buy groceries and do laundry and shit or just putter out to a normal-ass job – no offence – then nobody gives a rat’s ass. I’m just a basic bitch like everyone else.’
Cassie was tempted to say ‘Welcome to my world,’ with just the smallest hint of schadenfreude, but she recognised underneath Ramona’s arrogance just how fragile she really was. She knew better than to make any further helpful suggestions; Ramona would have to feel that way until she didn’t have to feel it anymore.
* * *
Cassie arrived at Finn’s apartment on Tuesday evening, hoping at least for a chance to pick up from where she’d left off with the younger children. To her disappointment, Cici only smiled vaguely and Con barely acknowledged her at all, which left her crestfallen. Come on, she chided herself, did she seriously expect them to remember her and make a fuss? Kid-time was different to adult-time. It was weeks since the evening when she’d turned up to the apartment in that disastrous outfit – this time she wore her green suede Doc Martens and a summer dress.
Finn had filled the fridge and explained all about their food choices, as if she didn’t remember.
‘Are they OK? They seem a little .?.?. subdued.’
Cassie noticed him flinch at her words.
‘Kids pick up on an atmosphere. I think they’re worried. Cici’s missing spending time with her mum and Con is obsessed that there’s something seriously wrong. I tried to reassure him, but you know, he gets fixations. And as for Sam .?.?.’ He made a gesture of resignation as he pulled on his jacket.
She gave a reassuring smile. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’
He went to kiss her but remembered himself just in time. ‘Good luck,’ he said pointedly.
Samantha was due home at six, after hockey, and in the meantime, Con spread his homework books out on the table. He was finishing Fifth Class and had a surprising amount of work to do. Cici was in Senior Infants but was very self-important about her little tasks. She plonked herself right next to Con’s elbow and he pushed her away roughly.
