‘Can I ask you something? Be honest, d’you think I’m a bad father? Have I let them down?’
Cassie took a deep breath. ‘Of course not. Life’s complicated but this is on a whole other level. I was floored by Marisha’s news.’
‘I can’t stop thinking about it .?.?. I’m so angry .?.?. with her and myself and that pompous arse. I mean, is he attractive? I always thought he reminded me of Mr Burns fromThe Simpsons. I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine how the kids are going to react.’
Cassie could picture him pacing up and down. She cast around in her mind for something that might help. ‘It’s awful and I can’t imagine what you must be feeling .?.?. But .?.?.’
‘Go on .?.?.’
‘There is one thing you could do for now. You could reach out to Samantha. She’s going to slip between the cracks if you don’t.’
‘Samantha? How?’
It obviously hadn’t occurred to him.
‘I don’t know, buy a bloody sofa bed for yourself and let her have your room. Let her do it up the way she wants. You can’t leave her sharing with an eleven-year-old boy, it’s not right.’
‘Fuck, why didn’t I think of that?’
‘I don’t know, but you’re thinking of it now. It’s not too late. Text her right now and tell her you’ve had an idea and you’re happy to pay for anything she wants. After that it’s up to her.’
‘You’re right, Cass, you’re the best. I really owe you.’
‘Never mind that, just text her now and get back to me. Bye.’
She ended the call. The starlings had settled onto the big branch, out of sight behind the young green leaves, and were twittering companionably. Why was it that everybody’s life from a distance looked so normal and together, but once you got closer, you found it was just as fucked-up as your own? The starlings had it right – or maybe, if you looked closer, there was a top starling in the best spot on the branch and a loser starling stuck down the wobbly end?
A few minutes later the phone went again. Finn ploughed straight in, ‘Samantha replied to me about having her own room. I was afraid she’d gone into town to get pissed or something, but she’s just at a friend’s house, watching a movie.’
The relief in his voice was palpable.
‘So, what did she say?’
‘I’ll read it out to you .?.?.Could be OK. Can you Revolut me €50.What d’you think?’
‘She knows you’re feeling guilty about moving out and she’s going to shake you down for all she can get. Just be glad it wasn’t a hundred. Still, she’s accepted your offer.’
‘At least it’s one thing I can do for the poor kid.’
‘Well done. You put her first. That’s exactly what she needs right now.’
Finn was shaking his head and re-reading the text. ‘Little wagon .?.?.’
* * *
The next morning Cassie opened her eyes to a sun-drenched glorious Saturday. She lay there for a few minutes, allowing herself to enjoy a peaceful moment when she had actually nothing to worry about. She was going to start the day with a lovely coffee sipped on the balcony, as people in bright summer clothes hurried up towards the big exhibition in the RDS and the place began to buzz for the rugby match later that day.
Feeling the holiday mood, she pulled on leggings, an oversized T-shirt, flip-flops and sunglasses. Nice. She’d just helped herself to a big bowl of berries and yoghurt from the fridge, and settled down in the sun, when her mobile buzzed.
‘Cassie, is that you?’ Her heart sank.
‘Hi, Mam.’
‘Are you busy?’
Cassie sighed. ‘Not really.’
‘Listen to me, I woke up this morning in a panic. If I don’t get my dress now, I might as well throw my hat at it.’
