‘All right, then, let’s talk about your new chap. The one with the three kids. How’s that going?’
What sounded like an expression of friendly interest, Cassie could identify as an emotional bear-trap. Any offer of information could be used to chastise her. Still, the desire to talk won out. ‘He’s .?.?. I can’t describe it. You know when there’s just something attractive about someone, but you don’t know what it is. Chemistry, I suppose. Plus, I babysat his two younger kids last week and I really enjoyed it.’
Mam’s mouth looked as flat as a hyphen.
‘You’re only thirty-seven, Cass, it’s still not too late. Don’t forget, chemistry has a danger of blowing up in your face.’
She’d a knack of expressing Cassie’s secret fears. Still, awareness was everything, right? Once she had her eyes open, surely to God she could avoid falling into the same hole over and over again.
‘I only took care of them once, in an emergency.’
Mam’s mouth morphed from a hyphen to a dash.
‘And what did their mother think of that, I wonder?’
‘Well, she didn’t know, obviously.’
‘I’d keep it that way.’
Why was Mam being so negative about Finn all of a sudden? ‘I could do with a bit more support, Mam. He is unattached, after all. They’re separated. It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong.’
‘That’s not the point, love. You’ve always been the one to make sure everyone else was sorted. It’s time to look after yourself. Not that you’ll take a blind bit of notice, but I have to say it.’
‘I know, Mam.’ For a moment she felt tearful. In a world where everybody seemed to have someone, Mam was the one person for whom she would always be special.
‘And another thing, you’re going to have to contact Maxine sooner or later. Those bridesmaids’ dresses won’t pick themselves.’
* * *
Finn was busy for most of that week, so she didn’t see him but they exchanged texts at night.
Missing you. Kids loved you, keep asking when you’ll be back.
Mam’s words kept sounding in the back of her mind, but she pushed them away.
Loved meeting them too. When you around? Love to see you.
Have kids all week. Their mum’s away. Can’t wait to see you.
That was OK. The kids had to come first, that was a given, but she would’ve loved to curl up with a bottle of wine and tell him all about her new life. Time enough, she told herself. Mam was obsessed with old-fashioned ideas of what to expect from a man but life just wasn’t that simple anymore.
In the meantime, she was undergoing a crash course in managing 4B, without a single day of teacher training, and her strategy of ‘fake it till you make it’ was starting to wear thin. Nevertheless, Rowley, Sophie and the rest of the class seemed to have accepted her, and once she mastered the confidence to give everyone clear instructions before they left their desks to do tasks, she just about managed to retain a decent level of order.
She’d realised after the first day that it wasn’t necessary to dress exclusively in costumes from old bank commercials, and had relaxed a bit into jeans and jumpers. Every evening, she went home with her books and planned the lessons for the following day.
She’d become quite pally with Maggie, the form teacher for 4A, so she was pumping her for some background info on Miss Upton over lunch.
‘So, what’s she like? When the kids talk about her, they almost seem a little scared.’
‘Marie .?.?. Well, she’s a nice person, but let’s say I probably wouldn’t be having this conversation with her, I’d be a little more formal. But you’ll find out, she’ll be back on Monday.’
Cassie’s heart sank. ‘That’ll probably mean I won’t be needed anymore.’
‘Are you kidding me? Comb-over won’t let you go that easily. He’s been frantically trying to get staff, he’s only short of jumping out into traffic to offer people jobs. I’d bet my lunch on you going nowhere.’
Cassie felt a glow of relief; it wasn’t exactly job security but at least it suggested she mightn’t be out on her arse at the end of the week.
* * *
