‘Well, good for you. Sorry, I only mean that about the adult bit. That’s something I’m still working on.’
‘Why d’you think I’m here?’ He leaned in, took her face between his hands and kissed her. She felt her insides melt. He reached down with the other hand, fumbling with the lever, when suddenly the seat shot back, sending them both into fits of giggles.
‘Wow, smooth move .?.?.’
‘Come here .?.?.’ He pulled her astride him, allowing her to lean her head against his forehead as his hands explored the soft skin under her top, and she teased her mouth against the rough stubble of his upper lip. ‘Well, if you wanted to feel not like an adult, snogging in the car with a woman who still lives with her mammy is a good place to start.’
‘I love talking to you, Cassie Kearney, I love being with you. I knew that from the minute I saw you.’
‘What? Lying flat in the mud, totally winded by your dog, who by the way has serious attachment issues – you thought: that is the woman for me?’
‘That, and the fact you were gorgeous.’
‘With my grilled-tomato face and mud-caked hair?’
‘It was the natural look, I’ll admit.’
‘At least I don’t have too much to live up to. I’m hardly likely to destroy your illusions.’
He touched his lips against her hair.
‘That’s what I like. Don’t change, OK?’ He sounded serious.
‘I’m not sure I can. But I might have to try. I’m not looking to wreck the moment or anything, it’s just that I’ve spent way too long letting my heart rule my head. I’m really still trying to sort myself out. And you were hoping for something simple.’
He looked at her intently. ‘Why did you come home from London, when you had a whole life there? And a career in acting?’
‘Of sorts.’
‘Have you given that up?’ His tone felt curious but totally without judgement.
‘When I went as a teenager, I had such confidence. I felt like I could do anything. Sounds cocky, but it’s what you need. And then I came home one summer to visit and .?.?. something unfortunate happened. It was my fault. And it kind of .?.?. triggered some crisis, some self-doubt – I haven’t really analysed it, though I probably should – but looking back, after that, everything began to unravel. And the phone stopped ringing. I still feel guilty for Bea, she’d such belief in me.’
Finn watched her, waiting for her to continue. But she didn’t. The heart had gone out of her.
‘Finn, I’m sorry, I think I need to go home now.’
‘For your prior engagement?’
She pulled up a smile. ‘Yeah. Right.’
After they parked in front of the house, Cassie reached out in the dark and clutched his hand.
‘Thank you for asking me about all that,’ she said.
‘No. Thank you. I don’t talk enough about that sort of stuff.’
She could feel his struggle.
‘I kind of guessed.’
They sat for a moment in a silence that felt like stroking a soft-haired cat.
‘Admit it, this was a pretty classy date.’
She laughed. ‘A tepid glass of Pinot Grigio out of a paper cup for me and a Heiney zero from Spar for you, drunk by the light of the dashboard.’
‘Anywhere is fun with you, Cass.’
