‘For the first sixteen weeks with Sam all I could eat was tinned lentil soup,’ said Celine. ‘Robbie had to escape to the spare room, the farts were so bad.’
Everyone roared laughing.
‘I was in hospital with hyperemesis gravidarum,’ announced Norah. ‘Same as Kate Middleton. I lost two stone.’
As nobody seemed to have anything to top that, the conversation began to drift back to Cassie.
‘And have you met the kids yet?’ Bryony enquired. ‘Could be tricky.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake, she’s only just met him – of course she hasn’t met the kids,’ said Louise.
‘Right,’ persisted Bryony. ‘And the youngest is how old?’
‘Almost six.’
Cassie was conscious that this was uncomfortably close to one of Bryony’s children, as she passed Cassie’s phone back with a wry expression on her face.
‘Brave girl.’ Said in a way which portended trouble ahead that Cassie hadn’t even dreamed of.
They made their way outside into the bitter early February night. As usual, the reliable Pete was waiting in the Lexus with the engine purring as the girls piled into the back.
‘Need a lift, Cass? Luckily, I’m on the dry,’ said Louise.
Cassie gratefully settled into the passenger seat of the Dacia Duster and relaxed for the first time that evening.
‘Don’t mind them. People can be a bit weird if someone breaks out of the ordinary. What matters is that you’re happy. Truth be told, we’re all a teeny bit envious.’
Cassie looked at her in disbelief.
‘What could you possibly have to feel envious about? You’ve all got your lives totally sorted. I’m the odd one out.’
‘I don’t think anybody’s got it all sorted.’
There was something about the way Louise spoke that felt more loaded than a general remark.
‘Is everything OK?’ she asked.
There was a pause.
‘I feel so guilty saying this because I’m so lucky. Everyone keeps reminding me how lucky I am and how delighted they are for me. But I don’t know if I can trust Mike anymore. I haven’t said that to anybody else. They all seem to have a version of how my life is going and I can’t bear to wreck their illusions.’
‘Sorry, Louise, I’d no idea .?.?.’
‘I mean, don’t mind me, I’m probably imagining that he’s out chatting up girls.’
‘In my experience, you’re probably not. Look, I know I’m not one to set myself up as a shining example of anything, but feeling like you have to squash your life into a particular shape to match other people’s version of things doesn’t work. It’ll always break out in the end.’
‘Everyone in my family is so happy for me. Especially my mum, it’s her first grandchild and they’ve waited so long. But I didn’t even see Mike before I left this evening. He sent me a text to say:b late from work. C you later. When the girls are all sharing stories, all I can do is smile and hope they don’t see through me.’
‘You and me both. OK, well, let’s make a pact. No hiding. I’m here for you,’ said Cassie.
‘So, what about you? I know the girls were all laughing but it’s not exactly simple, is it?’
‘I’m off the map,’ Cassie confessed. ‘I don’t know the rules of going out with a parent. I mean, what’s reasonable to expect? How d’you find the balance between being a clueless, demanding diva and a complete doormat with no needs of their own?’
They were stopped at the lights of a busy junction, so Louise had time to look at Cassie for a moment, her face tinted slightly green in the orange streetlights.
‘I suppose all you can go with is what feels OK. One step at a time.’
