Cassie stood, panting, all shouted-out and, to her dismay, she felt her chin start to wobble uncontrollably. ‘How old are they?’
‘Samantha is fourteen, Conor is eleven and Cici is five, nearly six.’
She picked up a doll and ran her hand over its long auburn hair. ‘I used to have a doll a bit like this.’
It felt strange to be looking at the children’s toys when they weren’t around. As though she were getting a glimpse into something she shouldn’t be a part of. ‘I’m sorry, this is too much. I’m out of here.’
‘No, no, wait. Please, come back in and we can talk about it.’
‘Talk about what? You made a fool of me. Thank you for the evening, though, I was actually having a lovely time up until now.’
She grabbed her coat.
‘Let me give you a lift home at least. I don’t want to see you walking in the dark.’
‘Finn, you can’t drive, you’re drunk.’ She sniffled.
A part of her was screaming,Just calm down, give him a chance to explain.But it was too late, she was already on her way out the door, and a minute later she found herself clattering down the stairs, stifling tears.
Chapter 5
Mam was on her way to bed when Cassie stumbled in the door, trying to look more sober than she felt.
‘Three children?’ Her face was a picture. She hurriedly deleted a text on her phone. ‘Well, I’m glad you told me or I could’ve walked right into it with Patricia. I was just about to text her to tell her you’d met someone .?.?. But you like him?’
‘Well, I did.’
Cassie whipped off her hat and clumsily explained the bruise and what had happened. She took out her phone and gazed ruefully at the cracked screen. ‘I think a scooter fell on it.’
‘Love, I always say a broken phone is just God’s way of telling you to go and visit someone. Look, he should’ve been honest with you. He did the wrong thing but probably for the right reason, nobody’s perfect, and sure, even at least you hadn’t slept with him on the first date .?.?. although maybe it doesn’t matter so much at your age.’
Which was a bit rich, given that she was heading for the stairs with two mugs of tea.
‘Mam, I don’t believe you just said that.’
She felt the urge to hug her mother but instead they ended up doing a little mime around the two brimming mugs (why did Mam always overfill mugs?). That would have to suffice.
‘Love you,’ she called as the back of her mam’s dressing gown disappeared round the turn of the staircase.
She sent a panicked text to Josie, even though she knew she’d be asleep:
Total fucking full-on catastrophe. Nightmare. HELP!
She immediately felt guilty for burdening her poor pregnant friend. None of it was making sense and she was feeling pretty drunk so there was nothing for it but turn out the light and sink into oblivion.
* * *
Grey light was leaking in around the curtains when Cassie’s phone buzzed. It was Finn. Oh crap. Her heart lurched. Was she awake enough for this?
Need to talk. U there?
Was she? Or was she going to hold out and play unavailable? No, that would be totally stupid shite. If she’d learned anything from letting countless things slide with Gav, it was to face things head-on, no matter what.
Yes.
Let him do the talking, if she could manage to keep her trap shut. Her jaunty ringtone chimed (changing that bloody thing was next on the list).
‘Hey.’ His voice had a deep resonance, but the tone was soft. Cassie felt her heart flip. Stay strong, she ordered herself.
