‘I’m so sorry to interrupt your mother’s wedding. God, is this the worst possible timing or what?’
‘No, it’s fine, I mean you were invited but .?.?.’
She gazed at him in silence. There was so much to say, she simply couldn’t fathom where to start.
‘You look great, by the way. Your hair’s .?.?. fancy.’
‘Yeah. Thanks. Finn, why are you here?’
‘I-I .?.?. I needed to see you.’
‘OK .?.?. Well, now you have.’
The pain in her heart was so bad that she had to rub between her breasts with the heel of her hand.
‘Sorry, wedding nerves. And it’s not even my stupid wedding.’
She was conscious he was eyeing her body.
‘Shouldn’t you be .?.?. sipping champagne or something?’
She looked pointedly at him from under her fringe.
‘Sorry, that was a dick thing to say.’ He seemed to be in one of his acutely awkward states.
But before she could reply, Miri appeared behind her. ‘Sorry, Auntie Cassie, Grandma says if you don’t come back up and finish getting ready, she’s going to develop a migraine and we’ll have to cancel the wedding.’
‘You have to go, Finn. You can’t be here today. I’m going to have to finish getting ready.’
‘Look, before you go, I know I’m a total arse turning up, but I’ve been thinking .?.?. a lot, in fact. I’ve been doing nothing else.’
Finn reached out his hand to touch her face, his expression unreadable.
‘Cassie!’ Mam’s voice reverberated from upstairs, jolting them out of their trance. They both stepped back.
‘I have to go.’
‘Yeah, me too.’ He nodded.
She was aware of him backing away, his gaze full of unspoken feelings, before she turned away and closed the door.
‘So .?.?. is that the chap?’ muttered Eric, who had been hovering just out of sight.
‘He was .?.?. Oh, Eric, I don’t know, what am I going to do?’
He reached out and squeezed her arm then vanished into the other room. Upstairs, Ramona met her on the landing.
‘Hello, girlfriend, was that who I think it was? Yummy. Will he be joining us later?’
Cassie suddenly found herself overtaken by that awful feeling when you realise you’re going to cry, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop the tears. A sob came out, unbidden. ‘No. He won’t.’
Ramona, a good head taller than her in her gold platform boots, flung her arms around Cassie.
‘Honey, it’ll work out. Look up, quick, look up! Whatever you do, don’t smudge the mascara,’ she soothed, whipping a tissue out from her cleavage and expertly soaking up the tears. ‘Let him go for now, it’ll all work out.’
At that precise moment, that felt painfully unlikely. Still, this was Mam’s big day and there was nothing for it but to push down her feelings and slap on a smile.
* * *
