From outside the door, she could hear Josie scream, Pal saying something and then him screaming too. She unlocked the door and they both burst in and jumped on her.
‘Oh my God, oh my God. I know when it was. It must have been after that sozzled baby shower.’
‘OK, OK, everybody calm down,’ said Josie, looking anything but calm. ‘Cass, you were meant to be here today, this was meant to happen.’
Cassie nodded dumbly. Apart from feeling as seedy as she could ever remember, her life was now in freefall, totally unrecognisable. She looked at Josie, who was struggling to look confident.
‘What am I going to do?’
‘You’re going to do .?.?. nothing right now. Have a nice shower and we’ll let the dust settle, then we’ll see.’
Which sounded like something she could manage. Just about.
They all sat in the sitting room, Cassie in a pair of jeans that already felt constricting.
‘I don’t understand, Jos, how can you not feel pregnant one day and then, the next .?.?.’
‘I don’t know, that’s just how it is. I was the same.’
On the one hand, this was amazing, beyond belief; on the other, she wasn’t naive enough to think that there wasn’t a fair chance something could go wrong, especially at her age. In that case, she thought, all the more reason to savour every moment of being pregnant, as this might be the only chance she’d get.
‘Should I tell Finn?’ She already knew the answer.
‘Do you want to?’
‘Yes. But d’you think it’ll seem manipulative?’
‘Pal, if it was you, would you feel manipulated?’ said Josie.
‘What? You’re asking me to imagine something I haven’t done, as though I was somebody else. I don’t freaking know.’
‘That’s such a guy thing to say. Cass, I mean, d’you feel what happened was a mistake?’
‘God no, it was a really fun time. I just thought we were being careful .?.?. Who am I kidding? We totally weren’t being careful.’
‘Well, at least it’s nice to think this baby had a happy conception.’
They both laughed ruefully.
‘That’ll sort everything.’
‘You know what I think? Do nothing for the next couple of weeks, then decide. It’s all going to be OK. I have a feeling.’
‘Thanks, Jos,’ said Cassie, without a hint of certainty.
* * *
The following day, before Cassie set off for Heathrow, she felt a wave of unease. As long as she’d been with Pal and Josie, she’d felt safe and understood, but now, heading out into a world that mightn’t be so kind, she was overcome with panic.
‘You guys, you’ve been so amazing. I’d be nothing without you. And your baby’s going to be amazing too.’
‘We love you, Cass, we’re always here for you, no matter what,’ said Josie, hugging her as best she could.
Outside, the street was full of people in fashionable clothes; the weather was cloudy but still sweltering, and the sky dark with a yellowish tinge. Just then an eerie violet flash lit up the sky, followed by an earth-shaking crash, and the first giant drops of rain began to fall. Was this a portent of things to come? Stuff and nonsense, she thought, rushing for the shelter of a shop awning as huge drops of rain plopped down on top of her.
Chapter 35
Sitting on the Aircoach, she scanned her messages.
