My phone dings with a notification as I head to the ticket counter and I slide it open hoping it’s a message from Serena. I’d be happy to hear from Hazel at this point. My heart sinks when I realize what it is. It’s my reminder for the next game. The day after tomorrow. There’s no way I can fly out and make it back in time. I must wait and see if I can get a hold of her. If she’ll answer me at all.
Defeated, I walk out of the airport. This was supposed to be an amazing weekend. I had plans. She’d meet Mom and Gabby, and I was going to tell her I loved her. That she’s it for me, but I guess I don’t mean the same to her. She didn’t even give me a chance.
I get in my car and head toward the only place that could bring me comfort.
It feels weird letting myself into Mom’s house since I don’t live here anymore. The house is dark, and I know both her and Gabby are in bed. I thought about knocking, but I didn’t want to wake them. It’s after midnight and they’ve both worked all day. I just didn’t know where else to go. My house isn’t an option. Not filled with its bare walls and all the preparations I made to wine and dine Serena. It’s a reminder of what I’ve always felt. Of what I knew my life would be like. I honestly believed all that would change with Serena by my side, but she’s not here and I can’t go there.
There’s an old, worn out blanket folded across the couch and I pull it off before lying down. I don’t bother finding a place to plug my phone in. The odds of her calling me are slim to none. Hell, I’ll be lucky if I ever hear from her again.
In all of my dating years, I’ve never truly felt the loss of someone you love. The only thing that comes close is when Dad bailed. When he decided we weren’t enough for him anymore. It’s like being punched in the gut and being told you’re not worthy. Maybe I’m not. I never took relationships seriously before. I never let a woman completely turn my life upside down. I’ve never met a woman who’d make me question my own fears and push them down. The moment I do, she does exactly what I’ve always feared. Jordan was right when he told me I needed to calm my ass down when I signed on. That I needed to stay out of the eyes of the press because it’s those past one-night stands that put me in this position. Well, that reporter is partially to blame as well. She definitely didn’t help matters. But I should have taken precautions when the magazine showed up. I should have put a stop to it then. But I didn’t take it seriously. My eyes drift close as all the ways I’ve fucked this up play through my mind.
“Wake up, Stupid.” Those are the words I hear as a hand slaps my face harder than necessary. “I know you hear me. Open your damn eyes.”
“What the fuck, Gabby?” I push her away before sitting up. “Is that how you greet all your guests?”
She shrugs and sits cross-legged on the floor beside the couch. “Only when they are uninvited. Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be home with Serena?”
Everything that happened last night flashes through my head. Yeah, that’s where I should be, but it’s not because I’m an idiot. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, too damn bad. You don’t get that choice since you snuck in here while we were sleeping and crashed on the couch.” She leans back waiting for me to say something, but that’s not going to happen. “Should I go wake Mom up? I’m sure she’d be interested in why you’re here.”
“She’s not up yet?” I glance around the living room for some sign of what time it is. “What time is it?”
“I don’t know. Around six or seven? I had to go to the restroom and was surprised to see you sprawled out on the couch like you used to do when we were kids. I figured I’d give you a little wake up call.”
“You’re an asshole,” I mutter, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Scooting over, I make space for her on the couch. “Get off the floor.”
“Only if you tell me what happened and why Serena isn’t with you.” She’s not going to let up. I forgot how annoying it can be around my big sister.
“Fine. If it’ll make you shut up.”
She gets off the floor and settles into the corner of the couch. “Okay, now talk.” She pulls the blanket off of me and pulls it over herself. She’s so annoying. There are many times I wish I was an only child, but then I would have been lonelier than I am now.
“I think we’re broken up.”
“What do you mean you think? That’s something you should definitely know.” Her eyes are raised waiting for me to answer. And she’s right, this is something I should know. But Serena didn’t exactly give me that chance.
I tell her everything that happened last night after the game. It’s painful saying it out loud, but even more painful that it’s completely my fault. That I did nothing to keep it from happening. “Then she booked it. Before I had a chance to react or say anything. She jumped in a cab and split. Just like dad. No explanations and no goodbyes.” Even more than that…no closure. Not knowing where we stand or what I can do to make things right is like being on a sinking ship with no life raft. I don’t know what to do besides go down with it.
Before I realize what’s happening my sister’s fist hits my shoulder. “You’re an idiot,” she yells. I know she’s just woken up Mom, but she doesn’t care. I’ll have to rehash this when she gets up, anyway.
“What did I do?” Damn, she hits hard. I don’t remember her being this strong when I lived here.
“You should have pushed that crazy lady off you the moment her hands made contact with you. Not wait like a dumbass that doesn’t know what’s going on.”
“I wasn’t expecting it.” I shake my head. “My brain was in shock and it took a minute to put all the pieces together.”
“I swear men are stupid.” Gabby says before getting up.
“Only if they don’t learn from their mistakes,” Mom says from the end of the hallway.
I glance in her direction. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Enough to know that you need to figure out what it is you want.”
She has a point. But damn, I don’t know what I should do. For now, all I can do is wait until I hear from Serena.
“This is such bullshit.” I’ve barely been in the game for five minutes and I’m already on the bench. I know I’m not at my best right now, but I’m not doing that bad. There’s no reason to pull me out.
