“In two weeks,” I grin. It’s hard not to. She’ll be coming into my world for a bit. Meeting my family, and getting to know them. “She’ll be in Austin for a couple of days. We can grab dinner after the game, or she can come over here the day after.”
“I’ll cook,” she nods. I’m not arguing with her. Her food is amazing, and Serena won’t be able to eat Mexican food from a restaurant again. Not after she’s had the real thing. “Get the table set, I’ll bring the food over.”
I do as I’m asked and soon Gabby is helping me. It’s a little late now since she only has to get the silverware. But I’m not going to fight with her. A peaceful dinner is what Mom wants, and it’s what I’ll give her.
Mom is in the living room watching her novelas while Gabby and I clean the kitchen. Even though I kept things peaceful, you could feel the tension rolling off of my sister. I don’t know what I did to piss her off, but I’m over it. She’s practically slamming the dishes into the dishwasher, and I worry she’s going to break something. “Dude, you need to chill. If you break one of those plates, Mom is going to freak the fuck out.” My voice is a harsh whisper because I try not to cuss when I’m around my mom.
“You can buy her a new set,” she snaps back.
“Not the point, Gabby,” I point to the dishes in question, “those are the ones she got from Abuelita. She will lose her shit.”
My sister takes a moment to think about that. Finally, something to calm her ass down. There are only a few more dishes to add to the load, and I’m done wiping everything down. This is the one time a week I really clean anything. I have a cleaning service come by my house. I’ve tried offering Mom the same thing, but she refuses and says she can clean her own house. Most days I wish she would let me take care of her and make her life easier, but others…I know exactly what she means. She needs to feel useful, and cleaning is her thing.
I ball up the rag in my hand and shoot it toward the sink. It goes in without ever touching the sides. “Do you always have to play around?”
“You mean have fun? Yes,” I nod. “I always have to have fun. I’ll be on the porch if you need anything else.” Turning my back to her, I walk down the small hallway leading to the laundry room and out the back door. Mom put a table out here years ago. It’s where she likes to drink her morning coffee.
I pull one of the chairs into the yard. Looking up, I study the sky. Wondering if Serena is on any of the planes flying overhead. The stars are almost non-existent among the bright city lights. I wonder what it’s like to look at the night sky without any distractions.
Lost in my thoughts, I don’t realize that someone is joining me until I look over and see my sister has pulled a chair next to me. “You must really like this woman.”
Seriously, that’s how she wants to start this? “I wouldn’t be bringing her around if I didn’t. She’s different than anyone I’ve dated before.”
“You mean she doesn’t want you for your success? Like those other girls you’re photographed with?”
Honestly, I didn’t realize she knew about them. That’s beside the point. “She’s nothing like them. She’s smart, funny, and she isn’t scared to go toe-to-toe with me if she doesn’t like something I do or say.”
“You basically just described me,” my sister deadpans.
“Please don’t ever say that again,” I shudder at the thought. “Anyway. As much as I like her, I’m constantly worried she’s going to bail. Like something I say or do, is going to be the last straw for her and she’ll leave…just like Dad did.” I don’t mention that my feelings are more than just liking her. They are quickly approaching the “L” word, and I’m not sure how I feel about that either.
“I’m going to say this as lovingly as I can. Big sister to little brother.” She places her hand on my arm telling me she requires my full attention. “You have spent your entire life running from any sort of meaningful relationship. Denying yourself of any happiness because Dad left. That wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t mine or Mom’s either. He was a selfish asshole and he doesn’t deserve anymore of our thoughts or time.” I open my mouth to cut her off, but she shakes her head. “I’m not done. It’s time for you to grow up, and stop letting that hurt interfere with your relationships. If you keep living your life in fear of rejection, you’re never going to actually live.”
Huh. I’ve never had it put to me that way before. It makes sense, but it’s easier to say I’m going to do that than it is to actually do it. “It’s scary though, sis. This thing with her feels real. It feels bigger than anything I’ve felt before.”
“Then it’ll be worth the wait to see how far this goes.” She glances at the watch on her wrist. I don’t understand why she still wears one when we have cell phones, but whatever. “It’s almost time for me to get to bed. Work comes early in the morning.”
“It wouldn’t have to if you and Mom would let me take care of things,” I grumble.
“And we’d be miserable if you did that.” She leans over to give me a hug before standing. “I’m sorry I’ve been so bitchy to you. It just killed me to see you going from girl to girl, and I assumed she would be just like the rest.”
“She’s not. In any way, shape, or form. She’s just Serena.”
“Gross,” she groans. “I don’t know how much I like you being all romantic and stuff. It’s weird.” She grabs the chair she pulled over and takes it back to the porch. “Goodnight, baby bro. I can’t wait to meet her.”
I stay outside for a few more minutes, mulling over everything my sister said. She’s right, even if I hate to admit it. I can’t keep living in fear. I can’t give myself over to her completely until I let go of everything I feel about my dad.
It’s getting late, and I know Mom needs to get up early as well. I move the chair back and head inside. “Bye, Mom.” I bend down and kiss the top of her head. “I’ll see you next week.”
“Bye, Mijo,” she replies. She’s called me that since I was a little boy. The only time it’s changed is when I’ve pissed her off. “I love you, and let me know when you get home.”
I roll my eyes. It’s not that far away, but I know it’ll do a lot to settle her piece of mind. “I will, I love you too.”
I lock the front door behind me as I walk to my car. My hand is already in my pocket, digging out my phone. I press Serena’s number and the phone rings and rings. Then it goes to voicemail. I try again. Voicemail. Maybe her and Hazel went to dinner. Or, she’s in the shower or something. I fire off a text and get in the car. She can call me back if she feels like it, but I know she’s exhausted.
* * *
Bentley: I tried calling, but didn’t get an answer. Goodnight, Beautiful. I hope your flight tomorrow goes well. Call me when you can.
