“Um, not really,” I take a sip of my soda, “you don’t have to leave. You know that, right? I hope I haven’t made you feel otherwise.”
“Oh, no,” he waves his hands in the air. “I know that. Leaving is my choice. We see each other at work, and usually grab dinner. I figured you must be getting tired of seeing me. I don’t want to overstay my welcome when you need some alone time.”
“Why do you think you’re overstaying?”
“You said you don’t do relationships, right? At least,” he grins, “not until me. I’m worried that if we hung out too much, you’d get tired of me and what we have together. The last thing I want is to ruin what is a good thing.”
His admission sends a stab of pain to my gut. I didn’t realize he does that for me. Or that I’ve made him feel he has to do that. Does that make me a shitty human? No. It makes me someone who guards my heart with a fortress. It takes work to penetrate it. Somehow, Xander is chipping away at the stone without me even realizing it.
“You aren’t ruining a good thing,” I set my burger down on the wrapper and scoot closer to him. “I want you here whenever you want to be here. Believe it or not, it’s getting harder to fall asleep without you by my side.”
“So, you need someone to snuggle with?”
I didn’t used to. It was difficult to fall asleep with someone next to me, and rush home as soon as possible. “Yeah, I think I do.”
Chapter Twenty
Xander
Kate is still asleep. The contrast between how she acted when we first started seeing each other and now is night and day. It hasn’t been that long, but she’s more comfortable with me now.
That first night, she stayed firmly on her side of the bed. Last night, her arm and leg were wrapped around my body. Maybe it was her subconscious telling her not to let me go. Who knows. I’m not complaining, though. When I first saw her, I thought she was out of my league. Now, though, I can’t imagine my world without her.
Love has almost slipped out of my mouth more times than I can count. After what she said last night, I might tell her exactly how I feel. Fear is the only thing holding me back. The four-letter word could derail our entire relationship, and that’s the last thing I want.
Kate mumbles something in her sleep, and I slide out from under the comforter as slowly as possible. Yesterday seemed like a rough day, and I want to let her sleep as much as possible. There was something bothering her, and I know it was more than the bride she was working with. I only hope she’ll tell me what it was at some point. Deep down, I have a feeling it had something to do with me.
I tiptoe out of her room and straight toward the kitchen. I get the coffee brewing and turn to the fridge. If luck is on my side, there will be food inside. Opening the door, I close my eyes so I don’t have to see the bare shelves. They aren’t, though. All of the staples most people keep in the fridge are in there.
Grabbing the carton of eggs, butter, and bacon, I feel pride in the fact she’s feeling more comfortable with cooking. She must be who my mom is texting all the time. Most guys would freak out. Not me. I’m happy they get along. If they didn’t, I’m not sure I’d be able to handle that. We’re close knit, and it wouldn’t bode well for our future if she didn’t like Mom.
The bacon sizzles as I put it in the pan. This is going to wake her up, but at least it will be to the scent of yummy food. If I could, I’d wake her like this every morning. She deserves it after some of the people she has to deal with.
“Why are you awake?” her sleep laced voice comes from the edge of the hallway.
“Because we have work today and my body was ready to wake up.” Since starting at the shop, I haven’t been able to sleep in. It’s like I have a natural alarm clock now. When I was delivering pizzas, I did most of that at night and would sleep in. Now it’s the opposite, and I enjoy having my evenings free.
“Right.” She moves toward me and wraps her arms around my waist, her face rests on my back. “One of the days I might actually call in to work. I don’t remember the last time I had a vacation day.”
“You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. You may complain about some of your clients, but you love what you do.”
The bacon pops and hits her arm. “Ow. Cooking bacon should not be dangerous.”
“All good things are worth a little pain.” Not just bacon, but relationships, too. There will always be growing pains, but in the end, everything turns out okay.
“How philosophical of you,” she laughs and moves away from me, “I’m gonna get ready if you don’t need any help in here.”
“I’m good. But I’ll have to head home after we eat so I can get changed for work.” At this point, I need to leave a bag of extra clothes in my car since I never know if I’ll be staying over or not. “Not too sure how folks at work will handle me showing up in the same clothes as yesterday.”
“They’ll get over it.”
“Or cheer for us. I swear, I think they are more invested in our relationship than we are.”
“They want me happy.” I glance behind me to see what she’s doing, and the smile on her face makes her glow. “For the first time in a long time, I actually am.”
“I’ll do my best to keep it that way.” It’s the one thing I can say with complete confidence. Even though it’s been a short amount of time, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this woman. Making her happy is my goal for as long as she’ll have me. If I play my cards right, maybe that will be forever.
“I think you get here later and later every day.” Kai laughs as I walk through the door.
