“Okay.” I fill her glass a little over half way. “Is it too early for infomercials to be on?”
She laughs and almost spits out her wine. “Definitely. They don’t come on until way later. Do you want to watch a movie?”
“If you want to.” I hope she says yes because the small moments of silence are kind of unsettling. Filling the awkward pauses isn’t in my skillset. The chatter between us ebbed and flowed last time we were in this position. Now it feels odd because I’m trying my hardest not to overstep any boundaries.
“Definitely.” She grabs the remote and sits closer to me than she was before. “Even though it was a long day, I’m not nearly tired enough to try going to sleep.”
“I understand that. I’m just happy to be out of the van.” I slide my shoes off and push them aside with my feet. “I don’t think I ever felt that way delivering pizzas. But it’s probably because today was full of going back and forth.”
“Yeah, it can take a lot out of you. I don’t know how the four of us did it on our own.” She turns on the TV and clicks to one of the streaming channels. “It probably helped we didn’t have the attention we do now. Anything in particular you want to watch?”
She switches topics so fast sometimes it’s hard to keep up. “Um, it doesn’t matter. I’m not picky.”
“Seriously?” She’s shocked at my answer. “You’d be okay if I put on a Romcom or something super romantic?”
“Yep.” I shrug and lean into the couch. “I’m used to watching movies with my parents. My mom loves romance and my dad loves action movies. I watch whatever they want to watch, and when they go to bed, I turn on cheesy sci-fi.”
The moment the words leave my mouth, I cringe. That makes me sound pathetic. Instead of going out all the time, I choose to hang out with my parents, watching movies.
“That’s actually pretty cool.” She shakes her head, “I wish I could do things like that with my parents. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever watched a movie with them.”
“It may not be a bad thing. It can get uncomfortable with some of the stuff my mom watches.” A shiver runs through my body. “Seeing sex scenes isn’t something I should be a part of when my mom is in the room.”
“At least she’s not ashamed of what she likes.” Kate scrolls through the selections before clicking on a movie that was made way before me. I think my mom has watched it, but I know I’ve never seen it.
“True.” Leaning forward I grab my glass of wine. “Honestly, I’m surprised you like romance movies. Don’t you dislike relationships?”
Her cheeks blush at the question. “I dislike relationships for me. I love it for everyone else.”
“Really?” That’s actually pretty weird. But good to know she’s not against just relationships. She only refuses to let herself fall into one.
“Yep. Nothing makes me happier than when friends, or people I know, fall in love,” she points the remote toward the TV before setting it down, “it’s like watching one of these movies and fills me with nothing but joy.”
“So why don’t you want it for you?” It’s a valid question.
“Because my parents didn’t show any ounce of affection toward each other my entire life. My dad takes his role as man of the house to the next level. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not abusive toward my mom or anything, but he’s just not a super fun person. I’m honestly terrified that’s how all relationships end up.”
“Okay, that makes some sort of sense. But what about your friends?” I turn toward her, studying her emotions, “you can see they aren’t in the same situation. So, it’s possible for you to have a normal, healthy relationship.”
“They mostly grew up with at least one loving parent.”
“What about your brother? He has a girlfriend, right?”
She scrunches up her nose. “He doesn’t count. He’s always been the golden child. Everything comes easily to him and he can do no wrong.”
“Woah, don’t sell having a sibling too hard.” It’s something I’ve always wanted, and even though my parents wanted more kids, it just didn’t happen.
“No, it’s nothing like that. I love my brother. He’s in my inner circle of best friends. But the way my parents treat him versus how they treat me is visible to everyone. Ask the girls. They’ve seen it our entire lives. Even Kai knows even though he acts like he doesn’t.”
It seems like she’s been holding that in for a while. I’m sure her friends know all about it, how could they not? But it’s definitely a perspective I never thought about.
“Is it because he’s younger?”
She taps her fingers on her leg. “Maybe? I don’t know. It could be because he doesn’t put up much of a fight when he doesn’t agree with something our parents are saying. He lets it go.” She grins and glances over at me. “That’s something I’ve never been able to do. Most of the time whatever I think pops out of my mouth.”
Huh, I can see that in most aspects except where I’m concerned. She seems to be pretty tight lipped about anything involving me. I want to say the words so badly, but I keep my mouth shut. This is one of those moments where I need to let her lead the way. Emily would be so proud of me.
“That makes sense.” I glance at the movie we’ve all but forgotten about, “I think we may need to restart it. I have no idea what’s going on.”
