“Tell me what happened?” Mom leans forward with her hands clasped, her food all but forgotten.
“Do I have to do it while he’s here?” I point to my little brother. The need to look like I have my shit together for him is important to me. Something for him to aspire to.
“It’s good for him to know that things in life are hard.” Mom says. I guess there’s no way of getting out of this. I relay what happened last weekend. From how amazing our weekend was to running into her family. Then finally to overhearing her conversation with Carlos, and my reaction afterward.
“Did you pressure her to talk to her kids when you were at the fair?” Of course, that’s what she’d lead with.
“No, Mom. We were heading back to the car after she saw them to avoid it, but her son saw her first. I didn’t say anything about us dating. I just told them I was a friend from work.”
“That’s good.” She thinks for a moment, choosing her words before saying them aloud. “Why did you react so badly at work last night? You should be happy she’s telling them.”
That’s a good question. I’m not sure why I did. Okay, yes, I do, but I don’t want to admit it. “I don’t know.”
Mom gives me a look. “Yes, you do.”
“Fine. I felt like her putting it off meant that what I feel toward her isn’t the same way she feels toward me.”
“Why didn’t you tell her that?”
“For the same reason I didn’t want to talk about this in front of Cameron.” I point to the person in question. “I don’t like people seeing that side of me.”
“You’re allowed to be vulnerable. And you should. Especially with those you love. They should be able to see all of you.” She sits back in her chair, tapping her fingers in a steady rhythm. “Do you love her?”
I’ve never felt this way about any other person I’ve been with. I mean, I love Lisa, but as a sister. She’s my best friend. I’ve avoided talking to her about Joan because they are also friends, and I didn’t want to cause friction. But when I’m away from Joan, I can’t get her off my mind. I text her throughout the day to check on her and the kids. To see if they need anything, or just to show her how much she means to me. I see her in my future no matter how I look at it. Even if we don’t live in the same city for now, I know she’s it for me. I’ve thought about looking at houses, or apartments, in her area just to be closer to her. Holy crap. I do love her.
“I think I fell a little in love with her before she took me seriously. And now it only grows with each day.”
“Then you need to fix this.”
She’s right. I know she is, but I need some reassurance from her that we can be together. No more dancing around the issue of our futures, or what obstacles we’re facing. We need to have a no-nonsense discussion.
“I plan on it.”
“Good.” She nods and finally eats her food. “Now hurry up and finish your lunch so you can go home and figure things out.”
This is the problem with having a close relationship with your mom. It seems like she gets bossier the older you get.
The Monday morning staff meeting is long. Stella and Angie asked us to be here an hour earlier than normal, and I’m dragging. Last night I kept running different scenarios in my head, trying to pick the one that would be the most effective. I’m still at a loss.
Stella is going on and on about events she wants us to hold in the Fall. She mentions something about a Halloween party, and from the look on Patrick’s face, he has no interest in that. “I know it’s during the week, but I want all hands-on deck. Or we could possibly move it to the weekend before. Whatever works for everyone.”
“You realize that’s still like two months away, right?” I shouldn’t have said anything because her glare turns my way.
“Yes, I do. But we need to plan and sell tickets. Which is why are planning for it now. Is there anyone that won’t be able to make it?”
Patrick raises his hand like a kid in school. “I may or may not be here. I’m not sure if I’m going out of town yet.”
Ooo, I wonder what he has going on. He’s been acting weird lately, and that has to be the reason. I make a mental note to ask him about it later.
Stella and Angie make note of it on the pieces of paper in front of them. “Anyone else?”
When nobody answers, Stella talks about other events she wants us to have. I tune her out. Either way I’ll be here for all of it. Once Stella’s announcements are done, Angie begins her pep talk. It’s like they are good cop, bad cop. Angie pumps us up, while Stella gives us the breakdown of how things are going to go.
Carlos walks in carrying bags in his hands. I wondered where he was. He never misses these meetings. He falls in line with Stella’s approach to them. I already know if we have the Halloween party on the actual night, Carlos is out. They have trick-or-treating to do with David.
He sets the bags on the table. “Breakfast tacos per the winner’s request.”
Dang, I totally forgot I told him what I wanted for us. I figured he’d bring it the next day, but the meeting makes sense. It’s the one time all of the employees are here, except for Joan since she has another job.
