My wardrobe arrives next. It’s a white jumpsuit studded with rhinestones. The boots are the best part—they have fringe!
My flight is a rush of TSA, lounges, and early boarding. I try to smile and wave when someone recognizes me. Being recognized is still an odd feeling. All of this seems so surreal.
Every few minutes I check my phone just in case a certain someone sends me a text. He hasn’t, and I haven’t sent him one either. Maybe he’s using my original radio silence idea.
“Harmony!” Robin greets me when I arrive in Arizona. “I am so glad you made it out of that nightmare safely.” I open my mouth to argue, but I’m swept out of the airport and into the back of an SUV.
“We have so much to go over. We’ll start first with your schedule for today.” I tune her out as she goes over every minute of my day. I don’t really need to listen. She’ll make sure I get where I need to be.
The desert scenery slides by as I gaze out the window. Robin asks several times if I’m even paying attention. I profess that I am, even though that’s the farthest thing from the truth.
My thoughts are focused several states away wondering what Beau and Reacher have planned for today. What are they doing at this very minute? Are they feeding the horses, feeding the cattle? Are they warm and safe?
Plastering a smile on my face, I step out of the car. Robin checks us into the hotel. They’re all the same. I wonder if it would be different if Beau were here with me? I have to get over this and start focusing on my career again. With a monumental effort, I pull my thoughts away from that ranch in Texas and back to tonight’s performance.
“Hello, Tucson,” I yell, stepping onto the stage hours later. We’re in a theater at one of the colleges. The band starts into the first set, and I join in. I give it everything I have, but there’s a piece of my heart not in this. I truly hope the fans can’t tell. Nothing would be worse than giving them less than my all.
When we’re done, I go through the same routine I do everywhere, and we head to the next concert.
Tomorrow will be another day, another place, and another chance to shine. It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine. Hopefully if I say it enough, it’ll come true.
Lying in a bunk in the back of the bus, I roll over to check my phone. He’s still not reached out.
“Hey, are you doing all right?” Robin asks from the next bunk. “It doesn’t seem like your heart has been in this since before Christmas. What happened while you were snowed in?”
“Have you ever felt you were missing something in life?” I ask.
“No way. How could I? This is like living in a dream.”
“Yeah,” I agree. I roll over and close my eyes. She doesn’t get it. I don’t think anyone does.
I’m almost asleep when my phone pings. There are only a handful of people who can bypass my Do-Not-Disturb setting. My parents, my sister, Robin, and, very recently, Beau. I snatch the phone up praying it’s none of the first three. I grin when I see the text.
Beau: I think I read where you’re supposed to break things off cold turkey. It’s a stupid plan. I can’t do it anymore. I need to know how you are.
Me: I’m so glad you think that’s stupid. I do too. I’m okay. How are you? How’s Reacher?
Beau: The dog is still moping around looking for you. I might be too. Things are finally starting to melt. Lots of mud. Where are you now?
Me: Somewhere between Tucson and San Diego I think.
Beau: Too far.
I grin and set the phone down. We don’t have to say anymore right now. Just knowing he’s thinking about me is enough. Knowing he’s missing me is everything.
I fall asleep and get the best rest I have since we’ve been apart. I wake the next morning with the same smile I fell asleep with.
“Someone woke up on the right side of the bed this morning,” Robin says. The guys turn to look at me as I walk down the length of the bus. “Does it have something to do with the text you got last night?”
“Could be,” I answer. “I just know I slept like a baby last night.” I flop down in the dinette next to our drummer. “What’s the agenda today?”
The band glances at each other with raised eyebrows. If they think this is a good mood, they should see me the morning after all-night sex with Beau. I snatch a doughnut from the box on the table and settle in to listen.
Every day is pretty much like the last. Robin has these meetings so were all on the same page. The days we perform are punctuated by sound checks, wardrobe changes, and performing like my life depends on it.
I guess, in a way, it does. I can’t afford to have a bad performance no matter how I’m feeling. It would end my career before it even really gets going.
“When do we get back to Tennessee?” I ask, raising my hand like I’m in elementary school.
