She scoffed, leaned back. “Whatever!”
I chuckled. She pulled herself tight into my arms once more. Her body relaxed as she melted against my chest.
“So, what was that?” I whispered.
She sighed. “That was a panic attack, courtesy of my extreme social anxiety.” She huffed. “I don’t do the best in crowds or with attention, especially if it’s confrontational. I can usually handle it, but sometimes it’s just too much. I’m so, so sorry. I had already had an emotionally charged day, and I just couldn’t?—”
“Hey.” I placed my hands on her shoulders, looking in her eyes. “You never have to apologize for how you feel.” I shook my head. “Not with me, or anyone else, and hopefully not to yourself.” I ran my thumb along her jaw.
She leaned into the touch, and her forehead shone with sweat. If she wasn’t already freezing, she would be soon.
“Let’s get you out of the cold.” I opened the truck door and helped her inside.
I rushed to my side, started the truck, and blasted the air, willing it to heat up fast. I pulled her near my side, not wanting her to get cold, but also wanting to feel her and know she was doing better.
She leaned in to me. I rubbed her arms to keep her warm and started humming a song into the silence. It usually seemed to help when Danny was overwhelmed.
“Is that Frosty the Snowman?” She asked through a smiling yawn.
I hadn’t even noticed. I chuckled. “Yep. In my defense, it’s all I’ve listened to for a month straight.” Now that her muscles were relaxed, she was tired. I smiled and rubbed my hand down her side. “You must be exhausted. Let’s get you home.”
Faith gazed up at me. “You are a wonderful father. I hope you know that.”
I raised a shoulder. “I know I get a lot of things wrong, but I keep trying.”
She pressed tighter against my side. “I’m a little tired, but honestly I’m feeling much better. Sometimes I try so hard to outrun the panic, but sometimes all you can do is let it pass through you.” She sighed and pressed her face into my shoulder. “Thanks for your help tonight. Even if it was mortifyingly embarrassing.”
“I’m not sure I helped at all, but I was glad to be there with you.” I rested my lips against her forehead. Her hair smelled like roses. I put the truck in reverse and backed out of the parking spot.
“You helped. Trust me.” Her eyes flicked up to mine. “It’s not my favorite thing, and I hate it when people see that side of me. But you knew what to do.” She shrugged. “Maybe that’s why you are so aware of Danny’s needs.”
I rubbed her arm, unsure of what to say. The truth was, I had no idea what I was doing most of the time. Not with Danny and definitely not with her.
She sighed. “Jessica was right though. I do have past mistakes. When I was in high school, I made some choices I’m really not proud of.”
I shook my head. “I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who didn’t.”
She draped her arm around my waist. “You’re amazing, just so you know.”
I chuckled. “I don’t think you’re so bad yourself.”
“Do you think we will hurt Danny if we date?”
I sighed. I didn’t want to hurt Danny, and I didn’t want to get hurt either. But it was a risk I didn’t want to run from anymore. Faith’s kind eyes shone up at me. If it worked out in the end, it would all be worth it.
“I know you are worried about how anything between us could affect Danny. And I like you all the more for it.” I rested my head on top of hers. “We will try to keep Danny unaware. Nothingin life is ever guaranteed, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.”
“I feel like I am pretending, that I will wake up from this dream, and realize none of it is real.”
I turned on my blinker and drove onto the main highway. “I’m not pretending, and I don’t think you are either.” I glanced down at her.
“I’m not, but what if”—she sighed—“what if it doesn’t work? Everyone will talk.”
I pursed my lips and raised my right shoulder. “Let them.”
“I wish I could be more like you,” she whispered.
“What do you mean?” I’m pretty sure by all standard testing available I was well below average. To top it off, I was a single dad, divorced, working in a job I loved but that barely covered the bills.
