“Well, I better get home, so Santa doesn’t catch me.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Faith stood to go. I knew it was because of what I had said before.
I stopped myself from reaching out to her, even though I wasalready missing her warmth pressed into my side. I wondered if I should take back what I said, so she might stay.
I didn’t.
I warred with my emotions, wanting her to stay. Wanting to kiss her lips. Wanting her to open up about her past. I want to trust her and have her trust me.
I sat still as my brain and heart yo-yoed with what to do.
Faith grabbed her jacket off the back of the couch, and I stood to help her slide her arms in the sleeves. Her golden hair brushed over my hands, and I bit back my plea for her to stay. I would not spend another second of my life convincing someone else to choose me. I opened the door for her and slipped my boots onto my feet as I followed her outside.
She opened her car door, leaned in to start the car, then stood and studied me. I felt like she was going to say something, but then she looked away.
I pulled her into a hug. Her body was soft against mine, and I leaned down to rest my head on her soft hair. “Thanks for saving me again.”
She looked up at me; the cold air had turned her nose and cheeks pink. “Thanks for letting me come.” She gave me a sad smile. “This is by far the most magical Christmas Eve I’ve ever had.” Her eyes shone and she blinked rapidly. Her breath turned to steam in the cold air and wrapped around me. She pulled me closer and my heart closer to hers.
I pressed my lips to her cold forehead, taking in her floral scent. The gaping hole in my chest shrank a tiny fraction, reaffirming I was ready. Ready to try again. Ready to trust. Ready to love.
But this time around, I needed to make sure I stayed true to myself.
The moon reflected off the snow and reminded me how cold I would be once she left.
I wanted to ask her out.
I wanted her back inside my house, on my couch, and in my arms.
She leaned back from my chest, and her gaze met mine. “Merry Christmas, Adam.”
There was a slight sadness behind them. Why?
“Merry Christmas, Faith.”
She pulled out of my arms, and I forced myself to let her go, even though every part of me was screaming to hold on tighter.
She got into her car, backed up, and drove away.
Was I reading too much into things?
Chapter Twenty
ADAM
Iwas not reading into things.
The rest of the Christmas break passed, with Danny making snowmen, us going to bed at ten p.m. on New Year’s Eve, and texts from Faith that were vague and distant. I even asked Faith if she wanted to spend New Year’s Day with us. She said she had plans, but didn’t elaborate.
I needed to constantly remind myself that until Faith was ready to be honest with me, space was best.
Maybe I had, in fact, just been lonely.
Stupid Christmas.
After a week of no practice between Christmas and New Year, bellies full of junk food, and what I could only assume were very late nights, the other team was outrunning us with a full-court press. Having a game two days after break was brutal.
I gestured to the passing referee that I wanted a time-out. He blew his whistle, and they stopped the clock. I had thirty seconds. I gestured for the benched players to stand and let the other players sit for a second.
Danny ran to the boys and handed out water bottles.
