I breathed in for four, held for four, and then slowly released. Energy coursed through me. Maybe I would feel better with movement. I walked the length of my little classroom.
I straightened my shoulders and exhaled. I would have to see Adam after Thanksgiving break at parent pick up, but that was a future me problem.
What would I even say to him next?
Sorry, I accidentally brought all my childhood drama into our conversation about your son. Sorry, I didn’t help you pick up the crayons. Sorry, I didn’t listen to your apology and treated you like a child…
So many options to choose from.
He would probably ask for Danny to be moved to the other second grade class. I rubbed my forehead and the oncoming headache. I hoped he wouldn’t do that. I loved Danny and honestly felt like we were finally making progress on some of his transition struggles.
My phone vibrated on the table. It was an unknown number.
Weird.
“Hello?”
“Astrid?” the voice sounded sad.
My breath caught in my throat. It couldn’t be. “Mom?”
“Astrid Luxe, you have some major explaining to do!”
The sadness was gone, replaced by her familiar frustration.
Speaking of disappointed parents who still tried desperately to shape their kids’ lives… How did she even get my number?
Chapter Two
ADAM
As I flew down the road just outside the edge of town headed for home, I honked a hello at Frank on his green John Deere tractor. He smiled and tipped his cowboy hat back at me. It seemed he was still on cloud nine after winning the pumpkin contest last weekend—first prize for biggest squash, eight hundred pounds.
I drove past the Anderson and Bailey fields with brown dusty dirt, now that they had dried and stored their hay. I normally hated being away from Danny, but this time I was grateful for the twenty minutes to collect my emotions.
Neurodivergent…What did that even mean?
Failed parent? Too much time on electronics?
Was I inattentive? Was it because of the divorce?
Even if he was different, how would giving him a label for the whole town to focus on help him?
He needed more time from me, more support. I was sure any shortcomings were due to me and my parenting, not from him.
I rubbed my forehead. I felt like I was drowning.
Drowning in debt, failures, and expectations.
I slowed my speed and turned onto the gravel road.
I’d always prided myself on being able to keep calm and collected in charged conversations, but apparently that didn’t apply when it was about Danny. I couldn’t believe I had knocked down the chair and crayons. My outburst and behavior were nothing short of embarrassing…but I was impressed that Ms. Faith didn’t back down, even with our size differences.
Even if my opinion hadn’t changed.
I pulled my old diesel truck into Mom’s dirt driveway and shifted into park. I needed to cool it. Danny felt others’ emotions strongly and would pick up on mine in an instant. That wasn’t fair to him. I wondered if there was time for a run to burn off the frustration real quick.
I leaned my head back, resting it against the multicolored striped fabric of the bench seat, and pulled out my phone. It was covered in cracks and dents, just like my truck, but it still worked fine. No need to throw something out just because it ain’t pretty, regardless of how my ex felt.
