I knocked louder and rang the doorbell and then waited.
I wasn’t going to wait outside all night. I tried the handle, and it was unlocked. I opened the door.
“Hello,” I called into the concert of voices as I stepped into their duplex. “Faith?”
I walked down the small hallway that led to the main livingspace, and Rose, Marissa, and Faith were all in the middle of an impromptu concert. Complete with flour dusting their cheeks and hair, as they sang into various kitchen utensils. I smiled as I leaned against the wall.
Seeing Faith with her friends and having fun like this was good for me. It reminded me that Faith had other people in Hillsdale too.
That, maybe, she might still stay.
I wasn’t sure what all Faith wanted to tell me, but it didn’t give me happy, carefree vibes like this.
I joined in. As the song went into the chorus, I rushed to the counter and picked up the spatula. The girls screamed at my sudden appearance as I placed the spatula near my mouth and belted a very high and off tune note, and then, my voice cracked.
We all laughed and continued the concert while enjoying time in Faith’s glow and sphere of happiness and kindness.
After two more songs and cookies were placed in the oven, I leaned against the counter. “All right, so is now the part when you tell me you’re leaving?”
Faith gasped and put her hand to her mouth.
Rose side-eyed Marissa, and they both left the room.
Their reactions were all too telling. A part of me was holding on to hope that she would deny it.
Faith’s lips quivered, and I held my arms open. She rushed into my arms, hugging me tightly.
It broke my heart all over again to feel her soft body press against me. I wrapped my arms tight around her and kissed the top of her head. I wanted to beg her to stay. To choose me.
“Won’t you try to stay. We can look for different jobs? Or figure something out.” I whispered into her hair, the sadness clear in my voice. I cleared my throat and failed to keep my tears locked away.
She searched my face. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” She reached up and put her hand against myface. “My favorite Christmas present.” She choked back a sob. “You are proof that I can be loved, just how I am.” She chewed on her bottom lip and a tear fell down her cheek.
I reached up and rubbed it with my thumb. This was it then, the end. “Can’t we try and figure out a way for you to stay?”
She nodded toward the couch. “Let’s sit.” Her hand trailed down my side and grabbed my hand as she led me to the couch. Now that I had felt what it was like to be loved and wanted by Faith, I didn’t know if I could go back to my lonely existence from before. She added so much light and life to my world. We sat, and she sat cross-legged on the cushion and faced me. Her jaw flexed, and she rubbed her ring. She was anxious. I died a little inside as I reached my hand over to hers so I could give her the pressure that helped her feel safe.
She studied our joined hands and tried to contain her tears. I would sit here with her at that moment as long as she would let me.
I wanted Faith in my life, as long as she could be.
I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb and studied all of her.
Wanting to remember each breath, each smell, each look.
She cleared her throat. “I have to tell you something about my past.”
I tilted my head in confusion.
She sighed. “So…”
She looked at the ceiling. “I…”
She slapped her hand against her thigh. “Ugh! I don’t even know where to start.”
All I knew about her past was that she was from money and had no desire to return. “Please tell me you’re not married.”
A laugh escaped her perfect pink mouth. “No, I’m not married.” She held her hands out in front of her.
