I felt my spine go rigid, waking me from a dream.
“Oh, you hush.” Emily chided Michael. “Looks like it’s your turn now, and if you tell me you are grateful for your lines of never-ending dates again this year, I will throw this roll at your face.”
Everyone giggled, and I was glad they were no longer looking at me. My skin flushed with heat.
“Hey, you okay?” Scott whispered into my ear, and I realized I was squeezing his hand tight. “I’m sorry about Michael. He always feels the need to be the center of attention.”
I shook my head. “It’s fine.” But my voice shook and betrayed my calm exterior.
“Hey, no it’s not. Remember no pretending with me.” He brushed my cheek.
“Okay, you’re right. I have something to tell you about the whole kids thing. But can we enjoy Thanksgiving first?” Scott’s eyes searched mine in worry. “On the way home, okay?”
“Of course, if that’s what you want.”
“It is.” I had started the conversation. The knots in my stomach untangled a little.
Scott nodded and dropped the subject. I loved that he trusted me enough to know I would talk about it when I was ready.
“Marissa, don’t feel pressure to join—but if you would like, it’s your turn.”
I looked around the table and all eyes were on me. I had missed the rest of the thankful messages in my haze. “I’m grateful for Scott, and that he is patient. And I’m grateful you have let me come to Thanksgiving.”
Michael scoffed. “Scott’s not patient.”
Out of nowhere, a roll soared across the table and hit Michael right in the face.
“Ouch!” He bent over and held his eye. “Really, Mom? In the eye!”
“Yes, well, that part was an accident, but maybe it’s karma catching up to you and that mouth.”
The table erupted in laughter.
After eating way more than I should, we went to the backyard, and I sat on a porch bench and watched as the family tossed thefootball back and forth. The little girl always got to score a touchdown.
Scott was free here, and so happy. This was the life he deserved. Would it be better for him to not be with me? I sighed and rubbed my forehead. I needed to tell him and let him decide what he wanted. I felt sick to my stomach. Nan was right. I wouldn’t regret loving Scott either way. He’d changed me for the better and helped me face my past.
“Do you mind if I sit?” I looked up to see Scott’s mother, Emily.
I scooted over. “Not at all.”
Emily looked at her playing family, smiling. “I’m glad to finally meet you,” she said without looking away from her family. “I could tell a while ago that you must be special to create the change in Scott I was hearing about.”
“I don’t know about that.” I felt myself blush.
“I do.”
“Wait, what change?”
His mother shrugged. “Scott is a wonderful person. But he always seemed to chase something he couldn’t grasp. Top of the class, best this or that. It would consume him at all costs.” She frowned. “Never feeling content or like he was good enough.” She raised her shoulder. “It was like he couldn’t believe in the good in himself and his worth until you showed him.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s hard to explain. He seems content.”
I wasn’t sure I liked the idea that I made him settle.
Emily laughed, reading my expression. “No, not like that. It’s like he has been trying his whole life to be someone else, be enough for someone or something. Fiercely trying to prove that he’s the best. And now he just seems . . . more whole.”
