I itched to start a timer on my phone, but she eyed the device with a glare. I moved it out of sight. Best to not fight this one. “Yes, of course. Your timing this meeting would be most helpful. What can I do for you?”
She settled into the chair and let out a slow exhale as she looked side to side. “Last night it was raining,” she leaned in closer to whisper. “They came to life again.”
“What came to life?”
Is this some kind of prank on the new guy?
“The gnomes,” Mrs. Bates whispered.
What on earth?I reminded myself to show no emotion. “Gnomes?”
“The garden ceramic ones in my yard. I have thirty of them. It happens every time it rains.” She pointed her finger at me for emphasis. “They move.”
I held her gaze.
Did she believe this?
She glanced around the office nervously. She believed it or she was a great actress.
“Why do you think they came to life?” This woman didn’t need legal help, but a mental health professional. Why had she even come here? Unless she knew that the gnome animation was a prank and wanted those responsible prosecuted.
“Think? I know they did. They were all moved. Again. They are sending me a message . . . with letters this time.”
Oh dear. “What are you hoping to do legally against . . . the gnomes?” I was glad that I had kept some of the sarcasm out of my voice. Maybe I could humor her for a few minutes, just to be nice. Make a good impression.
“Well, you are used to working with unsavory types, and I don’t know their intentions.” Mrs. Bates rubbed her arms, fighting a chill. “I want you to talk to them. See what they are trying to say. Maybe they have demands.” She moved in close, nodding.
“Demands? The garden gnomes?” Nope, this was not for me to fix. “I don’t speak gnome. If you would like to open charges against thepeoplewho are messing with your yard gnomes and property, that is something I may help with.”
“What do you mean, people? The gnomes are moving by themselves,” she emphasized.
I was not the one who could help this woman. “I’m not sure I’m who you need to see about this, Mrs. Bates. Is there perhaps a mental health counselor in town?”
“What do you mean?” She leaned back in her chair, her eyes guarded.
How could I put this without offending the woman? “I don’t feel as if you would profit from legal advice, but maybe some mental advice or a great counselor.” I was doing her a favor. I didn’t want to waste her time or mine. Why did she look at me like I was a monster?
She stood. “Well, I never!” She grabbed her timer and thrust it into her bag. “You don’t believe me.” She stepped away from the chair and looked both embarrassed and small. “Harry always believed me. He would always listen.” She threw her shoulders back, determined. “You aren’t getting a dime from me.”
I felt my stomach drop as the woman held back frustrated tears.
“No wait,” but I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t going to go talk to garden gnomes, and I really thought she could use help.
“Just wait till I tell Letty about this.” She stormed out of the room. “Marissa, if I have any other appointments with this lawyer, cancel them.”
I stood and went to the office door and watched Marissa rush around her desk to pull Mrs. Bates into a hug. Marissa scowled at me.If looks could kill.What did she want from me?
Marissa leaned close to the older woman and began leading her outside. “Hey, are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?”
There was nothing wrong with getting mental help. It would be a waste of time and resources to pretend like I could help her.
Seconds later, Marissa stormed back in with fire in her eyes. All five feet nothing of her marched right up to me and pushed me in the chest. “Would it have killed you to listen to her?”
I stepped back, getting a better stance. “What do you mean? I did listen.”
“No, you didn’t listen. You dismissed her as crazy and went right to suggesting she meet with a mental counselor.” Marissa stomped her foot and huffed.
“And that’s . . . bad?” Wasn’t that what she had come here for?
