I shook my head. “I lied about where I was because I didn’twantto be found. Even if you’d shown up, I don’t think I would’ve opened the door.”
Her face fell. “I understand.”
“But the door is open now,” I said. “Look, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I do know that I don’t want to do it alone anymore.”
“And you won’t,” Dallas said. “We’re going to support you.”
“You can let us in as much or as little as you want,” Katie added. “Just please don’t completely shut us out again.” Her voice broke on the last word, her bottom lip trembling. “And don’t…don’t disappear, okay?”
This time, I was the one to reach for her hand. “I won’t.”
“All right then.” Her shoulders loosened a little, but I couldn’t help but notice the tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. She surveyed the table before rising to her feet, tossing her napkin on the table. “That syrup is almost empty. I’ll just go grab some more out of the pantry.”
Dallas glanced up when her voice cracked slightly, concern flashing across his face, then returned his focus to the plate in front of him.
“These are some good pancakes if I do say so myself,” he said, attempting to sound chipper. “Eat as much as you want. I can always make another batch if you’re still hungry.”
I sliced through one of the fluffy pancakes with my fork, my gaze lingering on the doorway Katie retreated through.
When she returned with the bottle, her eyes were dry, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes. I knew my actions had hurt her. They'd hurtallof my friends. But witnessing that heartache in person as Katie tried to hide the tears I’d caused cut me far deeper.
The pain reminded me that if I ever felt myself longing to disappear someday in the future, I couldn’t give in. I couldn’t allow myself to fade away again.
FIVE
McKenzie
A week passed,bringing October with it. I threw myself into work, doing anything I could to avoid thinking about the fact that in five days, my mom would be leaving the country. And for the first time, I’d be alone on the anniversary of the worst day of my life.
Luckily, things at Katie’s Kitchen had been so busy I’d barely had time to breathe. Katie had been out of the restaurant almost entirely for the past seven days, popping in only a couple of times, which was unusual for her, and Dallas hadn’t been in at all. She hadn’t given any sort of explanation for either of their whereabouts. Not that she owed me one, but it was unlike her not to tell me what was going on. We were friends, but I was also her second-in-command.
So, when she strolled into the kitchen from the front of the store late Thursday morning, I pounced.
“Katie, what’s going on?” I asked, dropping my spatula onto the island that held the salted caramel layer cake I was working on.
“Nothing much,” she said, flipping through the overstuffed order notebook we kept by the phone in the back. “Have you seen the slip for the Altman wedding? I got an email that their guest count changedagain.”
“It’s in there,” I said, leaning against the cabinet beside her. “Are you feeling okay? Is your MS flaring up again?”
“I’m feeling pretty good, actually. I have my days, but overall, it’s been a lot better,” she answered, continuing to leaf through the pages. “Where did that damn thing go?”
“You’d tell me, right?” I asked. “Because something seems…off.”
“Off?” she repeated, plucking a sheet from the binder. “There it is.”
I grabbed her by the arms and turned her to face me. “Is something up with you and Dallas? Because if he’s being an idiot again, I will hack off his man bun and glue it to his ass.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Dallas is great. Seriously. He’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s—”
“Fine,” I finished for her. “Does this mean you’re taking time off forfun?”
There was a flash of something in her eyes before she fixed her mouth into a smile.
“Is that so crazy?” she asked.
“It wouldn’t be if that was a thing you did without being sick, hurt, or otherwise coerced.”
She rolled her eyes and returned her attention to the notebook, making a notation on the Altman order form. “Actually, Dallas is out front right now grabbing a few things to take to Derek and Jo’s.”
