Yeah. Emelia Raven. The big fucking secret. When I become Raven, one of the first things I’m going to do is tackle the stigma surrounding us. Well, me, I guess. I suppose I’m the only one. But then, how would I know?
‘Vamps aren’t so different from us, really.’ Jessie sounds reflective. ‘So why do they treat us like they do?’
‘You know why.’
‘Because of our blood.’ Jessie’s voice is teary. ‘That’s all we are to them. And my brother—’ her voice breaks ‘—is going to die because of it.’
Oh. That’s sad. I remind myself what a bitch she is. And the fact that she’s basically condemned me to death. Actually, you know what? Fuck her. I’m sorry for her brother, but that’s as far as it goes.
‘That’s why we’re doing this, why wehaveto do this. So he won’t.’ Kyle sounds fierce.
‘I don’t know why we have to look after her. What if her family tracks her down? This whole thing is such a mess.’
Yes, Jessie. It is. A big fucking mess. Just like you’ll be, when my family catches up to you.
Kyle speaks again. ‘You know Ruth told me not to hand her over? She refused to help me, once she figured out who she was.’
‘Maybe you should have listened to her.’
Wait,Ruthknew who I was? It’s becoming more and more apparent how little I know about anything. I hate myself for being so naïve. But what else could I be, brought up in darkness and solitude, surrounded by guards, watching old films and reading books? I feel sorry for the girl I was, who knew so little. She’s gone, now.
There’s silence, then more rustling, a creaking noise. ‘You cared for her, didn’t you? I could tell. I hated seeing you together.’
More silence. I hold my breath. Whatever Kyle says, it’s going to hurt. I hear him sigh. ‘I didn’t know you’d be at the bar, the night of the Moon Harvest. I thought you were going to meet me afterwards, when I took her to Mistral?—’
‘But of course you had to run into Ira! Mistral was raging, you know.’ Jessie is sobbing. ‘I tell you, Kyle, he’d better keep his word.’
Ira? I remember the strange delivery of wine. And realise what he was trying to do. He must have suspected Kyle; I remember his insistence that Kyle take me home, how annoyed Kyle had seemed. And Ira, dear Ira, had let him know he’d be checking I made it back there. Sadness at Ira’s kindness, at the thought I probably won’t ever get to thank him, washes over me.
‘Well, he’s already come through with one thing.’
There’s more rustling, a soft sigh. ‘He has?’
‘Yes. I can change you. Finally. We can be together and protect your family, get them out of the Safe Zone.’
‘Oh.’ It’s just a small word, a sound, really. But there’s yearning in it, a deep sighing sorrow. I almost feel sorry for her again. Almost. But the fact they both feel bad doesn’t change the fact that they’re going to hand me over to Mistral.
The sounds in the room change to creaking and sighs. My moment of sympathy passes, replaced by surging anger as Jessie’s moans become more rhythmic, the bed squeaking. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the memory of Kyle’s mouth on my body, how it felt when he ran his hands through my hair, across my skin…
I grimace, trying not to cry out.
Asshole.Assholes.
There’s a snapping sound and Jessie gasps, high-pitched. Is he…? Would hedare, while I’m right fuckinghere? I gasp, too, as though the breath has been punched from me.
He’s changing her.
I hear lapping noises, her moans muffled as she sucks from him, the choked groans he makes. I start to cry, then.
For my mother, my father, for the disappointment I am, endangering them all. I cry for love, gone from me forever. Because this is it. I’m fucked. This is how it’s going to end for me, here, in this shitty room. I think about home, the costumes waiting in the darkness, the robes I’m never going to wear. The last fucking Raven – at least, until my parents have another child.
Something occurs to me, cutting through my agony. If he turns Jessie, she’ll be out of it for the next little while. Meaning it will be just me and Kyle, alone here. I shrink into myself, wondering what he’s going to do to me.
Then it’s as though someone shakes me. A tendril of fire starts low in my stomach. IamRaven, and Ravens don’t give up easily. While there’s breath, there’s life, right? And I’m still breathing.
I open one eye. They’re both naked on the bed, their bodies twined together, Jessie’s mouth a red stain against Kyle’s neck, his head back, eyes closed in ecstasy as he drinks from her wrist. I scan the room for something, anything I can use to fight my way out of here.
Then I realise something. I shouldn’t be able to see them. The candles have burned down to nothing, and the room should be in darkness. I turn my head, ever so slightly. But I could probably have done a dance. They’re oblivious to me. And I see light around the old shutters, a thin line of gold.
