‘You seem weary, my lady. Would you like to be carried?’ Dear Bertrand. I shake my head, unable to stop my mouth twisting.
‘No, I’m fine.’
‘Of course, my lady.’
When we get there, I dismiss Bertrand. I don’t care if anyone is in my room. Sitting on my bed, I take off my shoes, one by one, then flop back onto my pillow.
And I start to cry.
Huge, gasping sobs that catch and ache in my chest. My mouth stretches wide, a noiseless scream, as I give in to my sorrow. The boy on the rock, the fear in his dark eyes. The cries of the prisoners. My parents, blood on their faces. The vicious fury of the hunt. The reality of what it means to be part of the house of Raven. And the fact that I cannot take over and continue the cycle of pain.
I’m ready to go. To leave this house of blood and velvet darkness, this glittering cage. To finally put my plan in motion. Leave the weight of responsibility, of my family name, of the crown that’s waiting for me. Otherwise, I think it might crush me. I want to choose my future, and the person I am. I want to live.
And I know who I want to do it with.
Kyle.
ChapterTwenty-One
JUST A GAME
‘My lady?’
There’s a knock at my door. I look up from my laptop. I’ve not left my room since the confrontation with my parents – when my mother knocked, earlier, I told her to go away. It’s easier that way. I don’t want to see her, see the love and concern in her dark eyes, hear her try to change my mind. I don’t want her to tell me I’m wrong, that I’m not a disappointment. That she is not a monster.
I’m leaving.
I’ve spent half the day checking my bag, repacking it, making sure I have all I need for my new life. I’ve spent the other half dozing, dreaming of a life with Kyle.
‘My lady, are you there?’ The knock comes again, the voice louder. It sounds like Bertrand. I close my laptop, rubbing my hands over my face and through my hair.
‘I’m here.’
I open my door. Bertrand is there, holding a wrapped package.
‘This just arrived for you.’ Bertrand holds out the package. It’s oblong, wrapped in pale lilac silk and tied with a blue satin bow. There’s a small blue tag attached to the bow.
‘Er, thanks?’ I take the package. It’s heavy, and sloshes when I turn it upright. I frown, turning over the tag. ‘For my lady,’ it reads. ‘I trust you’re safe at home.’ I pull off the silk packaging to reveal a bottle of wine, encased in a fancy printed wooden crate.
‘It’s from the Dome.’ Bertrand raises his eyebrows. ‘Ira delivered it himself. He seemed… concerned, wanting to make sure you were here. I assured him you were fine, but not receiving visitors.’
Because I can’t.
No visitors, not that I ever had any anyway. And no going outside the house. Basically, I’m grounded. Which is why I’ve not yet grabbed Kyle and had him jump me over the fence. My mother told me my sentence, after I told her to go away, her melodic tones sounding clipped through the wood and metal of my door. She and Father were leaving again, and I was to stay where I was.
Yeah, right.
She might shut me in my room, might surround me with guards, but I refuse to be a prisoner any longer. Refuse to be part of their rules, their violence and blood.
‘Is Kyle on duty tonight?’ I keep my tone light. ‘I thought he’d be with you.’
Bertrand looks uncomfortable. ‘Er, well, that is, he’s busy. At the moment.’
‘Busy?’ Fear starts to curl, deep in my stomach.
‘Yes.’ Bertrand’s frown deepens. ‘In fact, your father sent me, my lady, before he left. There are some guard exercises taking place tonight, and he thought you might like to watch. You will, after all, be Raven soon, the guards yours to command.’
I will not be Raven soon. But I suppose I need to act as though I am, for tonight. I can do that.
