Her eyes narrow, briefly, and flicker from Kyle back to me. I know she knows why I dismissed the other guard. ‘Your father was attacked in this house. Please honour our wishes in this matter going forward.’
‘Fine.’ It is fine. I just need tonight, and a chance to speak to Kyle. There’s a pause. ‘I thought you’d be gone already.’ My voice rises, like my hope that perhaps she’s decided not to go through with the Moon Harvest after all.
My mother’s smile fades. ‘That’s why I came to find you. Your father and I are leaving shortly. There are preparations we need to make… well.’ She looks down for a moment. ‘We’ll be back tomorrow night, near sun-up. Kyle,’ her onyx gaze moves to him, ‘you are charged with Emelia’s protection while we’re gone.’
‘My lady,’ he says, bowing.
‘So you’re going through with it, then?’ The magic of the night shatters, like a mirror falling from a wall.
‘Emelia.’ My mother pauses, looking away briefly. ‘You know we have to.’
‘I don’t. I don’t know that at all!’ My voice echoes through the room. ‘We have to dosomething, of course we do, but this… thisslaughter, feels wrong! And it’s notyou! It wasn’t that long ago you said violence wasn’t the answer, but now you’re going to murder twenty people to make a point!’
My mother draws herself up, her eyes glittering, arms crossed. She looks like a beautiful fierce statue. For the first time ever, I see her as Raven, the entity, an ancient predator, rather than my mother. It’s a strange sensation.
Then she speaks and the moment passes. ‘This is not up for discussion. Your father was attacked! I cannot believe you’re advocating mercy for those responsible.’
‘The one who attacked Father is dead, thanks to Mistral. He’s paid the price already. Why does there need to be more death? How do you know that Mistral is going to bring rebels to the Moon Harvest? He could show up with anyone!’
‘I’ve known him for two centuries. He’s our most faithful lieutenant, and a prince of Raven. If he can’t be trusted, who can?’
‘But—’
‘Enough!’ Her voice rings through the library.
I stand there, gasping, then turn away.
The air moves and Mother is there, catching me in her arms. I know she loves me. I know I love her. I’ll miss her desperately when I’m gone. But this is bullshit. I can’t deal with any of it right now.
‘My darling girl, I wish I could make you understand.’
I’ll never understand. My face is buried in her neck, her satin hair smooth against my cheek. ‘Let go of me.’ Torn between love and fury, I push at her. She lets go.
‘We have to end this rebellion,’ she says. ‘And this is a step, a necessary step, towards doing so, towards making the realm safe again. If you’d been standing with your Father, when… I couldn’t bear it if—’ Blood tears are dark in her eyes.
I swallow, feeling as though bands of iron are suffocating me, and all I want to do is break through them and scream away the frustration at what I am, at what I put her through, simply by existing. Shecannotmake this about me, about making the realm safe for me.
‘Please don’t do this. There has to be another way.’
My mother’s mouth is a perfect ‘o’, her brow creased. ‘Emelia, I… it’s just…’
‘Talk to them, negotiate a ceasefire. Imprison the ringleaders, if that’s who Mistral is bringing to the Moon Harvest.’ I hate feeling this powerless, feel the twist of it in my stomach. She doesn’t respond, so I keep going. ‘Do I not get a say in this? I’m the next Raven, after all. And I’m human. Like they are.’
A single red tear spills from her eye, running down the porcelain curve of her cheek.
‘I can’t change this now.’
She’s lying. She’s Raven. She can change whatever she wants. Sadness rolls over me, heavy as though it might press me into the carpet. All I say is, ‘Then go.’
My mother stares at me, her gaze blood and onyx in the moonlight. ‘This is not as easy as you think.’
I say nothing. She waits a moment longer, then leaves, followed by her guards, her dress a flash of red in the darkness. I stand there, weighed down by the broken shards of the night, of what might have been.
‘Emelia.’ Kyle’s arms come around me.
I sigh, sagging against him. Everything just feels huge and hopeless. I can’t change a thing. I should just go back to my room and sit there until I crumble to dust, then everyone can get on with their lives and?—
‘Hey.’ His hands come to my shoulders, setting me back from him. His handsome face is serious. ‘Are you really against the Moon Harvest?’
