‘S-sorry this happened?’ My voice is raw.
‘No, never.’ He kisses me again, gentle. ‘Trust me. I wish I didn’t have to leave.’
I rest my forehead on his for a moment. ‘You do, though. Go on.’ I give him a little push.
One last kiss, and he’s gone.
I stare at the closed door, as though I might will him back to me just by wishing it. There’s a rumbling noise, and I jump. The shutters. I open my door. The hallway is deserted, light through the long windows growing pale. I don’t want to stay in my room.
I have a couple of minutes. Which is enough.
I start to run, my skirt billowing like wings as I race through golden pools of dawn. Everyone else is gone, retreating to the fortified rooms at the heart of the house, in case some stray finger of light were to catch them.
I reach the library as the shutters finally close, sealing the house against daylight. I dart inside, closing the doors as quietly as I can. There’s wine here, hidden among the shelves, and music, old songs, dead voices from before the Rising. Remnants of all my lonely days, all the time I’ve spent entertaining myself, educating myself about how humans live, dreaming of possibility. But that’s not what I’m here for.
I scan the shelves filled with paperbacks. I’ve read every book in here, some more than once. But there’s a specific one I need.Interview with the Vampire. Pulling it from the shelf, I reach between the books until I feel hard metal under my fingers. I tug, stepping back quickly. The bookcase slides silently to one side, releasing a small cloud of dust. I wave my hand, my eyes scrunched closed. Through an opening lies a narrow flight of stairs, curving upwards.
It’s no surprise that a house as old as this would have secret passages. This is the one I use the most, though.
I step inside and pull another small lever. The bookcase closes again, sealing me in darkness. My hands on the walls to guide me, I make my way up the steps until my head bumps against something hard. I reach up, releasing the latch, and push.
Light falls all around me.
I ascend the final few stairs and step onto the roof.
It’s glorious.
The sky is striped with colour, gold and red and orange and turquoise, the sun a ball of fire on the horizon. Mist wreathes the trees, the landscape spread out like a half-remembered dream, golden and beckoning, the dark mass of forest stretching towards the faint shimmer of the Safe Zone.
This section of the roof is flat, an ornate stone façade shielding me from below. I lean against it, resting my elbows on the edge, cool grit of stone against my skin. The little flame inside me, the one I felt in the ballroom, seems to respond, glowing as the light increases. My eyes fill with tears. It never fails to move me, whether sunrise or sunset, the turning of the world an endless wonder. Birds chirp in the woods as the sky brightens, ribbons of gold fading to blue. I shiver in the autumn chill, my bare feet curling against the stone. The distant Safe Zone is now a darker shadow, the lights that bound it in safety turning off as the sun rises. I can’t believe it’s a bad place to live, despite what Kyle says.
I sigh, my breath catching at the thought of him, of his hands and mouth on me. Of what might have happened if Bertrand hadn’t come to the door when he did. I wonder where he is now, what he’s doing, whether he’s thinking of me. I don’t care that he’s a guard, that I’m the next Raven. I just want him. Not only to help me escape, but to stay with me, afterwards. I wonder whether we could make it work, a vampire and a human out in the real world. I wish he was here with me so I could tell him about my plan, ask him how he feels.
But he can’t be. No one in the house can, other than the humans who live here as food. Even being out here feels wrong, my mother so cautious around light my entire life that, somehow, it’s rubbed off on me. Even though I know daylight can’t hurt me, there’s part of me that wants to go back down, into the darkness. Yet a larger part of me rejoices in the feel of it on my skin, the strangeness of a sky not filled with stars. It’s how things will be for me, every day, once I leave. My mouth twists, the landscape blurring. I cross my arms, rubbing my cold hands along them.
The party has started again, a faint thump of music coming from the now-shuttered ballroom. I should go back soon or I’ll be missed, and I can’t take that chance. No one knows I come up here, and I want to keep it that way. This is something just for me, and no one else. I make my way back down the stairs, closing the trapdoor, entering the cocoon of the library once more. I’m in a daze, swaying with lust and Kyle and the beauty of the morning. I’m about to sit down when there’s a muffled booming noise followed by shouting, and the rapid thud of running feet. Then the library doors fly open and Bertrand’s huge shape appears.
‘Go to your room, my lady. Now.’
ChapterEleven
LOYALTY
My stomach lurches. ‘What is it? What’s happening?’ There’s a distant sound of screaming, which stops abruptly. I run to the door, but Bertrand won’t let me pass. He stares at me with worried eyes.
‘Bertrand.’ I try to sound like my mother, cool and clear, even though my panic is rising. Bertrand blinks.
‘There’s been a disturbance, ah, in the ballroom.’
‘Let me through.’
‘My lady, you mustn’t?—’
‘Please, Bertrand. Are my parents okay? I need to go…’ My voice catches. I can see indecision in his face.
‘But my lady, you’re not wearing shoes.’ There’s silence now, even more ominous.
‘Forget my shoes!’ I push at his arm and he finally lets me pass. I run down the hallway, fear sharp within me. Bertrand is next to me, one hand on the small of my back. Halfway down the stairs I realise he hasn’t answered me.
