‘The Ravenna group?—’
‘Oh, they knew. Stella just wasn’t nice. It was… everyone else.’
My mother looks away. She’s silent for a moment. When her onyx gaze returns to me, I swear there’s a tinge of blood tears.
‘This is why we want you to go out more. Why we regret?—’
‘I’m not ready for this. For any of it,’ I say, cutting her off. ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be.’ It’s a relief to finally say it. ‘Maybe you and Father should wait, have another child or something?—’
‘I don’twantanother child.’
‘But I’m so useless.’ The words slip out before I can stop them.
‘You are Raven!’ My mother becomes fierce, baring her teeth, her hair flying silken strands of black, eyes glittering as she leans closer. ‘You hold every power that name carries. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.’ She calms down, sitting back, very still, the blood tinge in her eyes more obvious. ‘Please, Emelia,’ she whispers. ‘Both your father and I believe in you. Please, try again. For me.’
For her.What about what I want? The teacup is burning my fingers.
‘I think I need to sleep,’ I say. I put the cup down and stand up.
Mother stands as well and, quick as a flash, is hugging me, her cool lips soft on my cheek. ‘Go and rest, my darling – I’m so very proud of you.’ She squeezes me briefly before letting go.
A guard waits in the hallway outside. He follows me in silence to my room. Once inside I climb into bed, the linen sheets cool. Dawn comes, and with it the rumble as the shutters drop, the house shutting out daylight once more. I can’t sleep. No matter how exhausted my body is, my mind is racing.
I’m both exhilarated and furious about what we did, at how close we came to disaster. Lace-like branches, the rush of water, his silver eyes – a kaleidoscope of silver and black turns in my mind.
And a boy in a cage.
My mood changes. I try to find the feeling again, the flutter of freedom in my chest, when the night seemed full of beauty. Kyle gave me that, at least.
Then ruined it, when he reminded me what I was.
Human.
I roll over, punching my pillow, trying to get comfortable. I don’t care what my mother says, or how much my parents believe in me. Becoming Raven, taking control of a huge realm – I’m just not ready. I don’t know if I ever will be. My parents are going to insist on me going through with it though, despite my pleas, despite my ignorance.
I’m trapped, as surely as that boy in the cage in the bar. My bars might be golden, but they’re a prison all the same. Which is why I have to leave. Why I’ve been planning it, for a while now.
I want a different life.
A human life. One where I have more choices than just what to eat, or which movie to watch, or which velvet gown to put on in the evening. One where my existence isn’t bound by guards and fences and darkness, by the weight of responsibility. One where I can be with others like me.
The walls feel as though they’re closing in. I can’t breathe. I sit up, pushing the covers back. There’s a pile of folded clothes on a chair. I go over to them, picking them up. They smell fresh, like the forest, with a faint tinge of violets. I wonder for the first time who launders my things, who washes away the vestiges of my human frailty. Shame rushes through me again at my weakness, at my constant need to be guarded, to be washed and fed like an animal in a zoo. I want it to be over. I want to live my own life, among my own kind. I don’t care what Kyle says about the Safe Zones. They have to be better than this.
I pull two T-shirts from the pile and go over to the fireplace. It’s huge, the stone mantle carved with intricate leaves and vines. I press one of the carved leaves. A panel in the wall next to the fireplace swings back, revealing a stone passageway, a small packed bag leaning against the wall. I unzip it, and add the T-shirts. There’s a pouch of gold in there, several refill vials of anti-feed, and some folded clothes. Not much, but I’m hoping I won’t need more.
My plan. My way out.
I hope.
But to make the second half of my plan work, I have to do something I really don’t want to do. I have to be nice to Kyle.
ChapterSeven
THE DANCE
My feet pound the grass, my breath coming fast. My lungs feel about to burst, but I keep going. A vampire keeps pace with me, easily, and I speed up, a pulse of adrenaline carrying me along. I slam into the high fence, my hands gripping it before I slide down, panting.
‘Not too bad.’ Kyle, barely a hair out of place, drops down to sit next to me. He hands me my phone. I look at it. Three minutes, twenty-six seconds. Almost a personal best time. ‘Not too bad at all,’ he says, sounding almost approving.
