“Go rogue.”
“Life’s more fun when spontaneity’s involved. What do you say?”
“Alright.”
If you’d told me a year ago that I’d be on a hike in Napa with a movie star, I wouldn’t have believed it. But Roman and I are nearing the top of the trail, and it’s all felt surprisingly... normal? I thought today would be much more awkward after last night, but so far it’s seemed natural. Like we’re both so skilled at acting as though we like one another that it’s no longer difficult. The line between what’s real and what’s fake is getting hazier.
As we pass others on the trail, we wave and give a quick greeting. This way, if Janine and Deacon press us on why we skipped the winery on the last day, we can say that we were out in public where we could be seen by people. What they don’t need to know is that there are very few people on the trail. It’s a peaceful hike that takes us through sloping valleys and promises a beautiful lake at the top.
Roman offers me his hand during a rougher section that’s dabbled with rocks and tripping hazards. I tell myself the warm feeling in my chest is nothing more than gratitude for his thoughtfulness.
After twenty minutes more of steep trail, we finally level off and a sparkling lake comes into view. Heading toward the shore, I touch my fingertips to the cool shimmering water. Roman eyes me curiously.
“It’s something I’ve always done. Whenever I get near water, I feel like I need to touch it… if that makes sense?”
He silently studies me as I shake the droplets off my fingers.
“Yeah, I know it’s kind of weird.” It’s like I’m spouting words right now and don’t know how to stop. “Anyway, um yeah, this is a really pretty view.”
“It is,” Roman agrees, but he’s not looking at the lake. He’s looking straight at me. I feel heat crawl up my cheeks, and I turn back out toward the water.
As Roman walks toward me, I hear his footsteps along the rocky path and then I feel him immediately behind me.
“I like that you do that,” he gestures to the water, before cradling my face in his tattooed hand and pulling me in for a kiss.
Unlike all our kisses so far, this one is softer. A gentle exploration instead of sheer conquest. It’s so different to what I’m used to with him, so much gentler, and yet it still takes my breath away. He tilts my head back to deepen the kiss, and I lose myself in his touch.
After minutes or seconds, I can’t be sure which, Roman pulls away and presses his forehead to mine.
“Why’d you do that?” I whisper.
“Someone could be watching,” he offers.
They’re not. There’s no one else in sight. But instead of calling him on it, I press a quick kiss back on his lips before taking off my shoes and wading into the water.
Roman joins me.
Chapter Forty-Six
CLOVER
As we pull back into Los Angeles city limits, the weightlessness of the few days is slowly being crushed down by reality. I’m excited to see Smokey, and I’m excited to get back to filming, but there’s something oppressive about coming home.
Maybe it’s the public watching us much more closely out here, or the paparazzi lurking around every corner, waiting to take their shot. Maybe it’s knowing I’m going home to a roommate I dislike. And fine, maybe there’s the slightest possibility that going home means the end of whatever this is with Roman since we’re no longer in Napa. It’s a tough pill to swallow.
Because despite my better judgment and common sense, I’ve really enjoyed this time. The few moments where Roman was tender and kind? I’m worried that now that I know he has that side to him, it’s going to be hard to remember this is all for show. Now that I know he has this side to him, I’m worried I may want it.
Most of the drive has been us listening to music together, or talking about our favorite movies. He asked me about theposters hanging in my room, and we launched into a conversation about the original monster films from the thirties, forties and fifties. But the closer we get to the city, the quieter we’ve become.
A notification flashes across the entertainment console — a message from Jill.
“Read message,” Roman instructs.
“Message from: Jill. Well, well, well. Don’t you two look loved up–”
Roman’s hand darts out to the screen to hit the skip button with a speed I’ve never seen the likes of before. He clears his throat.
“Is the turn for your place this light or the next one?”
