“Because Harvey made you realize that your destiny is your responsibility,” Sophia told him.
“Yeah.” Harrison let out a shaky breath. “I could barely look at him tonight. And you... You’re sitting here telling me that given the chance to save yourself, you feel guilt-ridden for all the people who you might damn.”
“You’re making me sound better than I am,” Sophia said. Because, ultimately, Sophia knew her faults better than anyone. She was fearful and manipulative and needy. Even when she tried so hard not to be.
“All those people in that room tonight,” Harrison said. “Your friends. Think of them. That is who you’ll be saving.”
Calling everyone in that room her friend seemed like a stretch. Delaney and Poppy, sure, but the others? Up until tonight, their lives ran separate streets in the City of Sin.
But it did help her. She counted off each of their names: Delaney, Poppy, Enne, Levi, Tock, Grace, Roy, Narinder, Harvey, Harrison. She didn’t know how to measure the worth of their lives versus all the others the Bargainer had touched, but they did matter. And they soothed the weight on her conscience.
And myself, she thought, mentally adding her own name to the list. She wanted to save herself, too, if she could. If the sole act of surviving in New Reynes didn’t make her a selfish person.
“But what about the others?” Sophia asked. “It doesn’t matter how important Bryce decided we all are—what about the people not in the game? Someone needs to worry about them.”
Harrison twisted the Augustine ring around his finger. Then he slid it off and tucked it in his pocket.
“Let it be me,” he said. “It’s my job, isn’t it? Let it be my responsibility.”
A good man or a bad one?she’d kept asking herself. Because she couldn’t, in clear conscience, entrust the fate of this city to the latter.
But he was right. He was neither good nor bad, and Sophia needed to stop seeing the world that way.
She reached into her own pocket and pulled out her dice. They’d vowed to kill the most powerful person in the world, and their chances undoubtedly would be bleak.
She rolled a one and a two.
She looked up. Harrison’s head was turned out the window.
“Don’t tell me the odds,” he whispered. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not know.”
XIII
THE CHARIOT
“On the day of the queen’s execution,
Semper denied any request for a quote.”
Shade. “Royal Family Condemned.”
Her Forgotten Histories
30 April YOR 1
LOLA
Lola eased open the door to her brother’s bedroom, though it had neverfeltlike her brother’s bedroom. The young man who lived in there was unrecognizable to her, from the scars she didn’t know across his pale arms and shoulders to his white buzzed hair. The only part of this man who reminded her of Justin was his flute, and he played it now, sitting at the edge of the bed. Unlike his usual irritating cacophonies, the song had a dreamy quality to it, meant to lull you in and transport you somewhere else. Against all better judgment, it had lured Lola inside, and she shut the door behind her.
“Justin,” she said, her voice hoarse and awkward. “We need to talk.”
He lowered his flute and frowned. “I told you not to call me that.”
“But Silence isn’t your real name.”
“It is. I swore to it. All Doves have one.”
“Doves are named after weapons. You can’t kill someone with silence.”
