“I...” My mouth runs dry as I picture the fire. The cruelty in Agni’s voice. The horror of finding Luca unconscious in the cage, of realizing he’s my illusion. It’s been too much. I can’t possibly begin to process it all.
“I want to help you, but you need to talk to me,” he says. “Tell me what happened.”
I hesitate. I can’t help it—I’m tense. Why do I always trust Luca’s judgment more than my own? I can think for myself, but it seems as if I always listen to everyone else before I trust my own instincts. When I ran to Villiam, the first thing he did was make sure we were all safe. Why would he do that if he was involved?
But I need to ask questions, even if they’re difficult. Gill, Blister and Venera died because I opted for easy answers to difficult questions, and it’s time I assume responsibility. Even though Villiam is innocent, I need to ask...
Then, suddenly, my train of thought stumbles. I just made Luca disappear, yet Villiam hasn’t asked how that was possible.
I lift my head off his shoulder. “Aren’t you surprised that Luca is an illusion?” I ask. “I just made him disappear, after all.”
He clears his throat. “I figured you would tell me when you’re ready. I didn’t want to push you...”
But his words don’t ring true. Villiam has helped me create all of my illusions, so if I’d made another one without telling him, he would be shocked—hurt, even. I share all of my illusion plans with him, every step of the processes.
I stand up and put several feet between us. “Luca said you’re a mind-worker. Is that true?” My breath quickens, and all the anxiety of the past month seems to hit me one hundredfold. I’m stupid, stupid, stupid.
I search Villiam’s eyes as my question lingers in the air. It felt silly to even ask it. Of course he’ll tell me he’s not a jynx-worker. He’ll laugh. The idea is...preposterous.
“I don’t like lying to you, Sorina,” he says, avoiding my face. His words make my knees almost give out. “I’m a mind-worker with a talent for peering into people’s memories and meddling with them as I wish.”
My heart leaps into my throat. That isn’t true. It can’t be true.
“It’s been safer to keep it hidden. Do you think the Up-Mountain officials would want to interact with Gomorrah if they knew the proprietor could twist their very minds? Hiding it has brought prosperity to the Festival. I’ve brought us to more and farther places than any proprietor before me.”
“You’re the reason I forgot about Luca,” I say. “It was you. Have you been killing the illusions, too? Has it been you all along?”
The resigned expression on his face is all the answer I need. I stumble back in horror.
“How could you do this to me? To our family?” I cry out.
He looks at me sadly, pityingly, as if I’m still the naïve child he rescued all those years ago. “This has never been about you. I have only done what was needed to protect Gomorrah. I must take my responsibilities as proprietor more seriously than my role as your father, which you ought to understand. Even you have risked your life for Gomorrah, bravely, selflessly.” He sighs and holds his face in his hands. I should run from him, run far away, but I’m rooted to the spot. I have to hear him out. I have to understand.
And then I’ll run. I’ll leave Gomorrah and never look back. We can start over in the Down-Mountains. We’ll find some place to be a family again. To be safe again.
I squirm away from him.
“Your illusions are the imaginary friends of a child,” he says, his voice suddenly cold and condescending. “They’ve never beenreal. I never hurt them myself, not that it matters to you, I’m sure.” He stands and approaches me, but I back away. I don’t know what he means to do—hug me? Plead forgiveness? But I don’t want him anywhere near me. He doesn’t sound like my father.
A spark of madness twinkles in his eyes. “But the others we’ve killed together...the princess, the duke, the prince...they wereveryreal. Together, you and I are creating the war that will save the Down-Mountains and millions of people. The Alliance shall fall.”
“I never helped you kill anyone,” I whisper.
He laughs, and the sound chills me to the bone. “You’ve never been aware, but you’ve been instrumental to our cause. The crown jewel of the entire plan is in your head this very moment. The new, young lord of Leonita, Exander, leader of the Alliance. Without his power over the city, Leonita will fall, and the entire region will follow. When the Up-Mountains are no longer united, our people can strike.”
“Luca,” I say. “Luca is linked to Exander.”
“Yes. The boy you made to be a lover. Your illusions never do turn out as planned, do they? From the rumors I’ve heard...he’s hardly much of a lover at all.” He laughs again, as if this is all a joke to him, the way we’d laugh if Blister tried to pronounce a curse word or Unu lost five straight rounds of lucky coins. As if he’s teasing me, not insulting me and destroying everything I’ve always believed to be true.
So that was the reason I created Luca? To be my lover?
He was made to love me. That’s the explanation. Only someone forced to could actually love a freak like me.
I’m trying desperately not to cry as my heart breaks. “You knew about Luca from the beginning?” I ask.
“I suggested the idea,” Villiam says. “And it was our secret—you were too embarrassed to tell the other illusions. I had every intention of giving you a happily-ever-after—I never wanted to use Luca. Our suspicions about the prince as the leader were very slim then. But by the time you finished the process, the lord of Leonita had developed the snaking sickness, and Leonita is too important to gamble with. I didn’t want to risk you learning the truth. So I used your mind to give Luca a past and then wiped your memory of him entirely. He was born a stranger to you. He would have remained a stranger had you not met. By the time I discovered it, I couldn’t undo it—you’d already told Nicoleta, whose mind I cannot mold. So I watched and I waited for the opportunity to take him.”
If a worker looks into your mind, then pieces will be left behind.So Kahina said. If Villiam has been playing with my mind for years, then that explains why pieces of my memory have disappeared. With Jiafu... With Agatha...
