Gwen stumbles, Levi screws up his Lutz, and Aaron runs intothe side of the rink. Harper skates past and considers the three with a frown. I have to bite my lower lip in order not to laugh. “People, I said that I was his girlfriend, not that Skate America was canceled.”
“That’s even heavier,” Gwen says. “That thing about being his girlfriend.”
Levi nods. “Knox and the wordgirlfriend? That’s miles beyond Skate America.”
“If William knew, he’d fire off a tweet,” Aaron says.
“Woe betide you if you tell him!” I threaten. “If you do that, I’ll burn his monster reindeer and blame it all on you.”
“He’ll find out anyway,” Gwen says. She lands a double axel surprisingly well and flails her arms. “I mean,Knox has a girlfriend!That’s going to get out quicker than a stink bomb going off in front of a fan in a windowless room.”
Levi nods. “You’d best give us an autograph already, Paisley. You’re acelebritynow.”
“Which paper is going to bring it out first, do you think?”
“Ice Today,” Gwen says right as Aaron shouts out, “USA Today.”
Gwen shakes her head and almost loses her balance. “When it’s got to do with their little star,Ice Todaywill never let anyone else drop thegirlfriendbomb.”
“It won’t go public at all,” I say, louder than intended. Polina casts me a severe glance and I attempt to collect myself, but my heart is racing more quickly than the spin I make to keep my face hidden from my trainer. When I come back up, I say more quietly, “I don’t want it to go public. So, not a word to anyone, okay?”
“But, Paisley,” Gwen says. She exchanges a look with Levi and Aaron, who are both wearing the same expression.
Levi’s voice is careful when he speaks. “Knox Winterbottom having a girlfriend is virtually impossiblenotto go public.”
I don’t want to hear it, but I know he’s right. The thing is, I don’t want to admit it because that would mean having to face reality, and reality is ugly, and, right now, things are just too damn nice to be ugly.
“Simply promise me you won’t say anything to anyone.Please.”
“Promise,” they all say simultaneously, but it sounds sympathetic somehow, likepoor-thing-it’s-going-to-get-out-anyway.I hear it, I know it, but pretend I don’t. I pretend to be dumb, so that things remain beautiful. Maybe it’ll work.
Maybe, maybe.That word.
32
You Hold Me Without Holding Me
Paisley
The X Games are taking place in the ski area on Buttermilk Mountain. There are still two weeks to go, but preparations are already going full steam ahead. I’ve never really been interested in snowboarding, but I’m familiar with the X Games. Everyone is. They’re on ESPN and ABC and are something like the Super Bowl of winter sports. It’s a little like a huge festival in the snowy mountains, with a big stage, live music, and various competition areas.
“The pipes for the big air and slopestyle course are already there,” Gwen says as we make our way past the barriers of the music area with its huge X Games banners.
“The superpipe is still going to take a bit,” Levi says. He runs a hand across his dark stubble, here and there coloring them white with snow. He’s right. By the superpipe there are two big excavators, digging into the snow with their buckets.
“Where is everyone?” I look around but it’s empty and dark. I thought everyone would be celebrating preparations already.
“At the Inn in Aspen,” Aaron says. He points into the distance, and I really do make out a few warm lights. Little glowworms hovering over the snow. That’s what it looks like. Floating glowworms.“That’s where the party’s going on. Right next to the freestyle pipe.”
We cross the parking lot. The closer we get to the Inn at Aspen, the more the quiet disappears. Music drifts over along with the sound of conversations of drunk, laughing people. I take out my phone and text Knox.
Where are you?
He responds almost immediately:Athlete Lounge with Cameron and the others.
Cameron?
My trainer.
