I nod, take a start, and stretch out my arms. I stretch my toes in my skates, to the degree I can, while raising my foot and get ready to take my next jump.
“Keep your eyes closed until you jump!” Polina’s words bring me back to reality and interrupt my jump.
My eyes wide I whirl around. “What?”
“You’re not feeling it,” she says, her hands clasped around the railing. “Because you’re desperately focused on the jump. Don’t skate with your head, Paisley. Skate with this.” She taps the left part of her chest, and I think I even notice the suggestion of a tiny smile. “Jump only when you feel the emotions within you, let them overwhelm you. You have the technique. Don’t think about it. Simply jump andfeelit.”
I take a deep breath, ignore my growing heart rate, and close my eyes. Everything inside me screams for me to open them again as I take one step after the other in long strides. But I keep them closed, try to turn off my thoughts, and increase my speed. At some point, I’m no longer thinking, I just feel the cold, cutting air on my skin. My body knows how much time there is before I run into the railing. It knows this rink. It knows the ice. I fly over the ice and open my eyes the second I jump off on an impulse without thinking about it beforehand.
The wings of my heart spread out and carry me. I count one, two, three twists before I land firmly and under control. My tension has champion potential. At least right now it does.
I let out a surprised gasp and open my eyes. Out of sheer euphoria a mad laugh escapes me. “I did it!” My skates carry me directly over to Polina. Coming to a stop, a trace of ice whirls in the air. “Oh, my God! Did you see that? That was crazy!”
“It was a start.”
“A start?” My body must be overproducing serotonin and dopamine, there’s no other way to explain grabbing Polina’s shoulders and pushing. “That was world-class!”
My trainer attempts to keep a neutral expression but can’t keep from raising the corners of her mouth. She nods. “You’re going to go far, Paisley.” Now a smile actually appears on her usually so hardened features. “The Olympics are closer than you think.”
And at that moment, it becomes clear to me what makes a true coach. It is someone who pushes you to try something over and overthough you don’t want to in order to become what youreally want to beone day. Sure, training doesn’t necessarily bring glory, but without training there isn’t any at all. Polina knows that. And every day she makes sure that I don’t forget it.
24
Chocolate Lips
Paisley
After training, I always feel so high that I decide to walk instead of taking the Highland Express. The quiet is pleasant, broken only by the creak of the snow that follows my every step. It’s snowing pretty heavily, and after a little while my jeans are damp. At some point, the warm lights from downtown chase off the path’s darkness. One of William’s carriages rattles past, the horse snorting happily and the glitter-eyed tourists gawking at Aspen’s houses in their Christmas finest. Walking past the diner, I see Kate taking an order. She looks up from her pad, and waves to me through the window. I smile and wave back before walking on.
In the meantime the snow has become a downright blizzard and it’s tough to see. Only now and then a light from the streetlights shows me the way. When it gets so bad that I can’t even put one foot in front of the other, I randomly reach for the doorknob of the store next to me and push myself inside.
“Oh, Paisley! Thank God.” Snow whirls through the open door and collects on the thick Persian carpet. It takes all I’ve got to push it closed, and then I see William. He comes out from behind his popcorn machine—only now do I realize I’ve ended up in theOld-Timer—raising his arms as if my appearance were some kind of blessing. “Can you take over for a moment? I’ve got to bring the horses to the stable. The storm is expected to get stronger.”
“Of course.” I don’t make an effort to ask him how the popcorn machine works or how much tickets cost. No one’s going to be showing up in this kind of weather.
“Wonderful. You’re my savior.” He places his hands on my shoulders for a second, and squeezes. “As a thank you, I’ll reserve a seat for you in the first row at the next city council meeting.”
“Umm. Okay.”
“Grab yourself a cheese sandwich.”
“I don’t like cheese.”
“Oh, right. Well, then… Just wait. I’ll be quick.”
I smile. “No worries. At the moment, I can’t really get anywhere anyway.”
William gives me a thankful smile, then slips off. My fingers numb, I pull off my shoes and take a deep breath. I love the smell of the Old-Timer, burning logs and old furniture. It makes me feel at ease.
I blow on my hands and rub them together while walking across the soft carpet and stop in front of the shelf with the records. I flip through the albums, one after the other, before deciding on David Bowie. I put the record on and curl up in one of the wide leather chairs in front of the fireplace. I pull up my legs to get my jeans to dry and enjoy the feeling of warmth driving the cold out of my limbs.
For a while I just stare into the fire and watch the flames eat through the wood. Suddenly the door opens with a ring and The Old-Timer is filled with the cutting sound of the storm.
“Shit, is it cold!”
I whirl around in my chair and lean my head over the backrest. “Knox? What areyoudoing here?”
Knox looks just as surprised as me. He stops midway through taking off his shoes and blinks. “Paisley?”
