“Of course.”
“Good.” I polish off my beer in one go, put the empty bottle on the table, and start to move past Wyatt.
“What are you up to?”
“I’m going to get myself what I need.”
I hear Wyatt clicking his tongue as I move toward the brunette beauty. Her full lips break into a wide smile. She shoos off her friend with one hand and leans forward onto the bar table so that her breasts are squeezed upward, giving me an even deeper look into her cleavage.
“You better warn me if I’ve got to count on your friend joining us any second.”
She giggles. “No friend. Just me.”
“Not someone’s girl?” I lean onto the table toward her. “You got a name?”
“Amanda.”
She doesn’t ask what my name is. Of course she doesn’t. She knows who I am. “Nice, Amanda-without-a-friend. What did a beautiful girl like you lose in here?”
Before answering, she wets her lips.Fuck, is she hot. Just what I need. Just what I’ve been missing. I am positive that if I follow my desires, this insufferable feeling that I feel when Paisley is around will disappear.
“My father dragged me here,” she says. “And it’sterriblyboring.”
I nod in the direction of the changing rooms. “Shall we change that?”
Her eyes follow mine before she looks back at me. Her sexy glance makes my blood start to boil while transporting it to deeper realms. “I hope you’re good.”
I give a rough laugh. “You have no idea.”
“Then change that.” She turns and moves toward the cabinswithout looking back to see if I’m following. A self-righteous smile steals across my face. This is exactly how it’s all supposed to go. Quick and without any obligations. A coming and going. No long-term bronchitis settling into my lungs and weighing me down.
I’ve hardly stepped inside the cabin when I feel her full lips on mine. And at that moment it starts. The pressure in my chest becomes immeasurable. My heart begins to hammer uncontrollably and wildly; no pleasant throbbing but something that makes my hands tingle and panic start to spread. Images of Paisley appear before my inner eye. Suddenly this all feels wrong. This here—her powerful perfume, her warm breath mixing with my own, her hands working at the buttons of my jeans—all this makes me feel something that I don’t like at all. Something inside me wants to defend itself. I have to fight back the feeling of pushing her hands away and simply walking off.
Pull yourself together, Knox. This is what you want. You need this. You’ve done something like this a hundred times. And you’ve always enjoyed it.
Amanda pulls away. Her breath becomes shallow as she goes onto her knees in her high heels and my waistband brushes my knees. I lean my head against the wall of the cabin and close my eyes, try to concentrate on the here and now, on the fact that I want this.
But, fuck, it’s not working! I can feel her lips closing around that part of my body that just a minute ago wanted this so bad, but now…
…it reacts. But in the opposite way to what I need.
“Are you serious?”
I open my eyes, ball my hand in her long mane and touch myself with the other. “It’ll be fine in a second. I just have to… Hold on a sec…”
Amanda stares in disbelief at my penis, which simply doesn’t want to stand up. Regardless of how quickly I move my hand up and down while staring at her breasts, it doesn’t move an inch.
With a disappointed snort she shakes her head. “And to thinkyou were so cocky aboutthis.”
This has got to be the biggest humiliation of my life. And naturally, as far as I’m concerned, it’s all Paisley’s fault. I am so fucking angry at her right now that I might even fire her later. But then there is that other feeling that goes against it. And suddenly I feel as if I don’t know myself any longer.
“Fuck!” I smash my hand against the locker next to me before leaning my head back against the wall. “Oh, fuck off, will you?”
It’s not her fault. Truly. But right now I feel humiliated and dirty, embarrassed and degraded and powerless, powerless in a way I haven’t felt in ages.
The resounding slap comes two seconds later. I take it. I deserve it. I press my lips together and try to fight the feeling of being small and defenseless.
Unsuccessfully.
